Sometimes You Might Want to Think of Others: Consideration

I'm going to tell a little story, and I hope that the person that I'm talking about reads this, but nine times out of ten, she won't because she don't know me. So I went to Wal Mart on Thanksgiving to get a couple of things for my mama before we made the strip to her house. A bag of ice, some hand soap, and something else. Don't remember the last thing, but that is irrelevant to the story. Anyway, I didn't have much, and the lines were not very long, so I got in the shortest express lane. The only person in front of me was this chick in a rolling cart (you know, the motorized ones), and I thought she was just going to put her stuff up on the counter, pay, and leave. I was like cool, she ain't going to be here long. I didn't know that she was going to be going through like 20 kids' outfits and asking the cashier how much shit is and why you can't buy it as one and what her total is after each one and picking through the shit, etc., etc. She even went as far as to ask the cashier if there were any other stores open like Ross or Marshalls. Bitch, she works at Wal Mart and is currently trying to serve yo ass, how would she know that? Anyway, I stood there for like 15 minutes, in the shortest line now, waiting for her to move, and she seen me and like two other people standing there waiting on her to get out the way. She was fully capable of walking; I watched her get up and out that cart and walk perfectly around it several times. She didn't buy half the shit that shit had and didn't even have the courtesy to say something to me about taking so fucken long. This is way I told this story: I strongly dislike inconsiderate people. I dislike those that do not have any bit of thought of others whatsoever. No, I'm not saying that you have to care for my well-being or anything of that nature, but if you know that you are about to pull a stunt like she did, at least let me go in front of you so that I can take my minute or so to get everything rung up and paid for so that I can go on about my day. Other people don't do it for you huh? Two wrongs don't make a right, and the people that treat you that way are just as bad. Consideration can be and is defined as, by one of it's many definitions, "thoughtful or sympathetic regard or respect" or "thoughtfulness for others". You see people, when you only think of you at all times, this concept goes out the window, and then you do rude shit like she did. An example of consideration: I went to Family Dollar the other day and, again, I only had a few items. This dude in front of me had a cart full of stuff, and he asked me was I ready to go and is that all I had. I said yes, and he allowed me to get in front of him because he knew that he was going to be awhile. I made sure that everything I had is what I wanted, paid for it, and left. How hard is that?! I mean shit! That type of consideration has happened to me on NUMEROUS occasions. I have done it for others. Another thing: if you see me doing something, even if it is sleeping, please leave me be unless it is an emergency or that damn important to where it can't wait. I hate to be interrupted for bullshit. Please be considerate enough to give me the satisfaction of finishing what I started or at least putting it on hold so that I can assist you. Patience: I'm wearing thin on it. I always strive to be as considerate as possible because I would want someone else to do it for me. Don't believe it in huh? You must be one of those rude mutha fuckas I talked about in Rude Is Never Cute. Let me break something down for you: the reason why people huff and puff and be rude with you when you do something like that is because you are not even taking in the fact that other people have lives just like you do. Most of them are on an agenda just like you are. Hell going home to sit in their drawers and watch TV is an agenda. May not be one that you have immediate importance in, but that is not of your concern. You can at least give this person the right to have that time and be on time instead of looking at them like they are the plague and taking forever and a day or interrupting something that could possibly be highly important to someone else. A thought is not that much. It takes nothing really. If we all have a little consideration, then maybe there won't be so many disgruntled people in supermarkets, clothing stores, and other places with long lines and short ones with long waits. Thinking about others every once in a while or for a split second can go a long way. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Rude Is Never Cute

I was talking to my male best friend, and he was telling me this story about this chick that was being rude to him for no reason. He made an action he did not have to make that was dripping with common courtesy and politeness, and she responded to it with a very rude comment. Okay people, this kind of stuff I do not condone. Please do not be rude for fucken reason. Like, I do not know who put out the memo that being rude is cute and that you need to show that you big, bad, and tough by doing it, but there are crazy mutha fuckas in this world that is making drastic measures to those that do this. I seriously don't understand what you get out of being ridiculous towards somebody that is doing something nice for you or trying to save yo ass. I have an example. When somebody asks me how am I doing, I respond,"I'm fine. How are you?" Even if the conversation does not go anywhere past that, I give that same response to people because they took the liberty and time to ask about my well-being. It doesn't matter how long I have known them. It doesn't matter how long we talk or don't talk. All that matters is that this person decided to be nice and respectful to me, so I have decided to return the favor. If you notice something that needs to be brought to my attention, please say something and let me know. I will say thank you and take care of it. Don't be rude to people that do that because it could be life or limb for you. Oh and if you have a job in customer service, please don't be that bitch that I walk up to in a store or wherever I need this service and look at me like you don't speak English. Don't catch an attitude because I asked you a question. Don't huff and puff and act like you happy to help me. If you don't like being in that field, you need to find a new one to work in baby, because that shit is so unacceptable. I am the one that will report yo ass and have you fired with no problem. I don't play that shit. I have worked with people all my life, and even if I hated my job or was having a bad day or even felt uncomfortable, I give my 100% in making sure that the people I work around and the customers I work with are comfortable. If I'm not feeling well, I politely let them know. If I don't feel like talking, I politely let them know. There is no reason to be rude all the time. That shit is unnecessary. Oh you flexing in front of your friends like you the Big Bad Wolf and nothing phases you right? Guess what? The Big Bad Wolf for defeated by that brick house in the end of the story baby, so sit yo ass down. There is, if not one, a few people that are bigger and badder and tougher and rougher and smarter than you. Just cuz you talk big boy shit don't mean you about that life. This applies to both men and women. Nobody is an exception, period. You want to get somewhere in this world? Being a dick ain't going to get you there. To the ladies that do this, stop thinking that every man that holds a door open for you or asks you how you doing wants to holla at you. Get yo ass off that big ass plastic pedestal that you have out yourself on and just say that you are fine or thank you. Chivalry ain't dead. Men are just tired of giving it to rude bitches. Maybe if you didn't look at a dude with the death stare before he get near the door, he will think about opening it for you. To the men that think this is cool, stop talking to females like they are objects or just down right trashy. Not every female is going to give you the cold shoulder or the death stare if you know how to talk to them. Yelling out "Hey girl, when you gonna let me suck on those titties?" ain't about to get you anywhere with a chick. As a matter of fact, she just disliked your presence even more because of it. There is only one type of female that likes that kind of shit and that is a simple bitch. Being a dick is not the way to get someone's positive attention. I just want to let you know that you don't have to shake a hand or give a hug or talk to everybody that gives you attention, but a simple thank you or good morning/afternoon/evening would be nice. If you don't have nothing nice to say, don't say shit at all, but don't give the death stare in the process. Trust me, body language at times say a lot more than actual words. That saying "Actions Speak Louder Than Words" holds true on so many levels. I remember having to write that shit in third grade 100 times. Been stuck with me ever since. This is my point: when you take the time out to be rude to people, you are only hurting yourself, especially when you do it in front of other people. Politeness and common courtesy can get you a long way, and please believe that the golden rule is so in full effect, and there are people in this world that still follow it. I know I do. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Why I Do This Blog...

I want to explain something real quick: I don't just come up with this stuff off the top of my head. My rants come from a conversation or personal experience. This has happened to me and/or to other people, so don't think I'm just going off the deep end and just running around talking trash. Just getting out some frustration real quick. Everybody does it. This is my personal opinion, and the people that read this are either going to agree with it or they're not, but all I ask is that you respect my opinion or eat a dick. It's as simple as that. This is what I think, and thoughts can be changed like drawers. So can beliefs, hopes, and dreams. I'm not for attention. I'm not out for followers (excluding Twitter, but that is your personal choice to follow me or not). I just do this because I want to. Plain and simple. Don 't like what I write? Don't read it. Don't like what I said? Let me know. You can always tweet me at @ReallyNoKesh. I'm also on Facebook and Google Plus. I'm me, and I am in the process of rediscovering who me is, but I know that this is a part of the creation of a new part of me. Notice I said part, as in a piece. I hope that each and every one of my readers enjoy what I write, and if they don't, then I am always open for comments. I will respect your opinion just like I want you to respect mine. Please let me know what you think. Hey man...I'm just saying...

Cuddling & Affection vs. Sex

Okay, so today's blog comes from a conversation that I was having with this guy earlier today, and we were just having a regular conversation. He don't know me, and he thinks that it's okay to offer to lick my body and taste me. Umm no sir that is not what I want. I explain to him that I don't want him to do all that and that is not what I am looking for, but he just couldn't comprehend how I can want to cuddle and be affectionate with a person and not want to have sex with that person. This mutha fucka asked me to define cuddling and affection. I'm sorry sir, how old are you? With two kids right? And you don't understand what I mean when I say cuddling and affection. People, just because a person wants to cuddle and be affectionate does not mean they want to have sex. I am not fucking you so that you can hold me at night. I don't want to be in a relationship either. There are plenty of people out there that are single but are affectionate. There are plenty of people that knows what it is like to have affection with there being no strings attached. No titles, no dating, nothing more than just cuddling and talking. That is not difficult or too much to ask for. I mean really? Why do I have to explain to you what cuddling and affection is? Why there have to be feelings involved? Better question: is it really necessary to fuck you in order to get it? No I don't think so. You have lost your fucken mind to think that I will buss it open for a few kisses and some arms around my body at night. I'm good. If you are so much of a horny little boy that you can't keep your hands to yourself, then I don't want to deal with it. If I do fuck you, it's because I have made the decision to do so. I'm old enough to change my mind and make decisions. I'm more than a big girl. I'm a woman. It's funny because only females understand this but are just as emotionally out of it. Let it put it to you like this: affection and cuddling can be done without sex being involved. At times, yes they do go hand in hand, but they do not have to happen together. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING! I repeat, THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING! Yes it is possible for a person to kiss and touch a little and cuddle and spoon and whatever else falls under that category without it leading to a butt naked session. Seriously people, if you ain't old enough to separate the two, how will you survive in a relationship? What is going to happen when your significant other ain't in the mood to fuck? Then what? All they want to do is cuddle or be held. You going to go fuck somebody else? You going to get mad and storm out? Be a child about the situation if you feel like it. You going to be by your damn self. All I'm saying is this: I should not have to explain to what is supposed to be a grown ass person the difference between sex and affection. If you don't know that all ready, then I don't know what to say to you. If you can't do that without an established relationship, then so be it. I won't get mad. I won't throw a fit. I will find somebody that is capable and willing to do so. It is not that serious to be doing stupid shit in order to get what I want. People, know what you want and if you know what you want, go out and get it, but things like this are unnecessary to me. There is a difference between cuddling & affection and sex. If you don't know it, you need to learn it. Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Video Chick...To Be Or Not To Be?

So I was standing in my kitchen, and I started to think about a conversation that I was having with one of my favorite people. We were talking about censorship and how people are trying to expanded it to the internet. Now, this post will have nothing to do with that, even though it is great idea for another one in the future, but it does bring about something that some women were trying to censor in the past but has had no success: the video chick. Yes that chick that be in the music videos half naked or almost naked and dance to some song that is by the artist, who is often the star of the video unless it shows otherwise. In some instances, she don't even dance, but just walk around without many clothes on. Either way it goes, the song is done by that person, so the video is going to make you remember it, and that is the point. You see people, sex sells, and rather other people want to admit it or not, it does. The dude with the abs out and no shirt on advertising Axe ain't there just for kicks. The sexy chicks in the Go Daddy! commercials are not there just to show that there are chicks in the world. Sex sells, and many people and companies know of this concept. Why is the video girl being pin pointed? She is often an African-American chick deemed to have no self-esteem, had a bad upbringing, and does not love herself enough to put some clothes on and not bounce her ass for money. Now a days, this expands to more than just AA chicks, but there are chicks in videos of all races. Hey man, there are chicks out there that do more than that. How about the stripper that gets completely naked and swings around a pole? How about the porn star that has sex on video tape to be broadcasted around the world? How about the prostitute or the female escort that does those things in a more private life but a public place and more unsafe environments? I'm not saying that they are worse, but often these chicks end up in the videos. I mean some of them are not trying to be models or strippers or anything like that. Some want to break out into acting and one day be a movie star. Some are just trying to make some money to do something else, i.e. have their own stuff and finish school. I'm not saying that I know their lives, and I damn sure wouldn't want my daughter (if I have one) doing that shit, but what I am saying is some women are worried about the wrong thing. For example, Tip Drill. Yeah I'm going there. Tip Drill by Nelly is a great song to me. Yeah I love that song AND that video. Once it aired, there was this big uproar about it from females all over Spelman that opposed the graphic things that were going on. It was so bad, they cancelled the charity event for his sister, who by the way had nothing to do with the video. Well, I didn't see any of those females in the video saying that they felt violated or misused or ashamed. They didn't say shit about it as far as I know. If they did, please send me the articles or videos saying so because I didn't hear nothing about that. Now, I must say that if you watched the REAL uncut version of that video, there is more shit going on in there than a little bit, but there is a reason why the video was shown on a show that came on at 3AM one day a week: because it was meant for ADULTS! These chicks was talking about little girls seeing it. If your 8 year old is up watching shit like that at 3AM, that means something is wrong in your house, not the person that put that video out. There are such things as parental controls and teaching your kids the right things to watch and what not to do. I'm not saying that this only happens with bad parents, but at the same time, there is no reason why anybody under the age of 17 should have seen that video when it originally aired. Yeah plenty of people under that age seen it, and they probably got their asses kicked if they were caught watching it, but you can't control everything your kids do 100% of the time. Fact. Face it. I'm going to get to my point: there is nothing wrong with the video girl or what she does. Why do I say this? These are women over the age of 18 that have minds of their own and know the difference between right and wrong. If they are comfortable enough to get half naked in front of a camera while somebody tells them to shake their ass on a car, then so be it. This does not only exist in the AA community either. There is a united theme around the music industry that tells females to wear less in their videos. So when some chicks protest this, what are they really saying? No, I don't want to see females do this to themselves? Guess what? You can't stop it, and don't protest the video girl and then have conversations with your friends about the porno you watched last night. I mean really? So you support a girl getting butt naked and bussing it open for the camera but you don't support some chick dancing with some sort of clothing on? That is what I call ass backwards. If you don't support what videos have come to, stop watching them. It's as simple as that. There are definitely other channels for you to watch and other stuff for you to do. Being in that video is their job, even if it is for that one video. That is a personal choice that they decided to do, and it should be left up to them if they want to continue that kind of life. Please people, stop labeling these girls like you know them. You don't. One ho decide to come out with how she was bussing it open for that life, and now all of a sudden, every video chick is placed under that umbrella. News flash people: everybody that does that ain't like that. GET OVER IT! Oh and please stop protesting against the artists that do these videos because they will still sell music and go on about their day as if nothing happened. They don't give a fuck about what you think. Yeah you don't have to support them, but, unless they absolutely suck at what they do, somebody will. Don't like it? Tough. That's life. The music artists that have video girls didn't force these girls to audition or to be in the video. They made that choice, and they have to live with it. If they are comfortable with it, then there is nothing that you can do about it. Yes I said it, and I meant it. Worry about how you going to get your rent and bills paid, and stop worrying about how these chicks live because they are damn sure not worried about you. It will get you no where but broke, lonely, and dry-mouthed. Find something else to worry about. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Switch-Up

I called this post what I called it because that is the perfect name for what I am about to talk about. You see, there is something that I have thought about and have experienced when dealing with a few people in the past, including family and friends. Ever been in private with somebody, and they act one way in front of you, but when you get in front of other people, their behavior changes? Yeah I've been there and done it without knowing it. It is one thing when you are dealing with different walks of life and different types of friends. This is something that is often considered adapting. Yeah that is how it happens sometimes. This becomes different when dealing with somebody that you have some sort of emotional or physical relationship with. Please, please, for the love of Pete, do not be all lovey dovey behind closed doors and then when you get in front of your friends start fronting like you don't act like that. I mean seriously? That is hella childish. Don't be calling yo man daddy and waiting on him hand and foot at home but then start kicking it to your friends like you run shit. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! Fellas that do this, don't be calling here all kinds of boo's and baby's when yall alone but when you get in front of everybody else then it's "yeah I run this shit" just to look hard. I busted out my ex in high school when he decided to tell people that he don't eat pussy. Trust and believe, he deserved it. Stop kicking it out the way that it ain't. If you wash that mutha fucka's dirty drawers, say that shit. Fuck what other people think. They are not in this thing that you two have got going on. And another thing, put the relationship out there the way it is. Don't be calling somebody your significant other in front of people so that you can have that person to yourself but continue to treat them like the cut friend that person is. I'm telling you, that is some ultimate bullshit. If you end up the victim in this situation, FRONT THAT ASS OUT! Tell that mutha fucka in front of everybody how it is...if they get mad, make the beginning steps to cut that ass off. Trust and believe, nobody should have to go under the treatment of experiencing two people in their life when there is only one other person in the room. Don't be false claiming cuz you jealous and selfish. Can't handle that person fucking somebody else? Cuff or leave it be and find somebody else that is going to be willing to let you fuck around but won't do it themselves. One big important thing: COMMUNICATION! Talk shit out, but make sure to let this person know that you are not about their bullshit and the way that they act around closed doors is the way they need to act in public, in front of friends, in front of family, etc. If you wait on me hand and foot at home, that is how you need to be at all times, PERIOD! Equal treatment at all times. I don't give a fuck. No that does not give the golden ticket to be a dick or a bitch at all times, but there needs to be some sort of consistency in behavior because two faces are not better than one. Don't treat a person like shit in front of your family, but don't take those in front of people you don't want them to meet. Again, this does not give a person a ticket to act like a straight ass. Period. I be damned if I'm baby when we alone but as soon as your friends come around, I'm just Keshia. Umm what happened to baby? Fuck that. I don't like that shit, and it should never be tolerated. You better get ya shit together, and establish how you going to kick it to everybody, get your emotions in line, and make sure communication and HONESTY (yes that is just as important) is always present and happens. Can't talk shit out? You about to have a hard life. Remember to keep only one face and let it be the only one that you should wear. Period. Need to work on it? Baby steps, but this is how things should be. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Peer Pressure

Okay people, peer pressure is an issue that I have been hearing about since I was in elementary school. Yes I am a true victim of peer pressure. There have been things that I have done because my friends suggested it...I mean strongly suggested it. To me, peer pressure exist only for children under the age of 15. Once you are in high school, you are fully capable of making decisions on your own. You have a mind, and you know the difference between right and wrong. Don't you dear come to me and say shit about peer pressure. "They told me to do it." And that is your excuse to me for doing the shit? Fitting in is something that mutha fuckas in elementary and middle school worry about. If you worry about that shit in high school and beyond, you worried about the wrong shit. Yeah I did some stupid shit when I was in high school, but those were my own decisions. I know what I was doing, and I take full responsibility for it. My friends did shit that I didn't do in high school. I didn't give a fuck. I stood my ground. You gotta learn to be your own person. Fuck that peer pressure shit. When you are over the age of 18, you definitely can't come to me with that shit. I wish a mutha fucka would tell me they did some shit because their friends was doing it and they carry around college books. Fuck that, they are a senior in high school! I don't play that shit nor do I accept it. Don't you know how to think for yourself? Don't you have a mind of your own? Don't you know the difference between right and wrong? I mean what the fuck? I won't lie. Right now, I'm drinking in the middle of the day. Yes, this is a decision I made on my own. I also pay bills and rent and work 5 days a week on 3rd shift. I'm grown. Ain't nobody going to get me to do some shit that I don't want to do. Peer pressure don't exist once you have turned 15 to me. I'm sorry. I just don't see how you can possibly explain doing some stupid shit because other mutha fuckas told you to. Are you serious? As the old saying goes, if they told yo ass to jump off a bridge, would you do it? I'm just saying. You doing all kinds of other stupid shit because another person approved of it. Why not jump from that bridge head first into some concrete? They told you they was going to go after you. All I'm saying is this. We are too old to be talking that bullshit. People, own up to your stupid shit. Take responsibility for your actions, no matter how stupid they may be. You decided to do it. Own up to it. Fuck what other people think. They don't live yo life for you. YOU DO! Just think about the shit you do before you do it. That's all I'm saying. That goes for everything. Actions and speaking. Don't say some shit you know you said and then try to put that shit off on someone else. Hold tight to what you believe, and yes, it is okay to change that shit. If you no longer believe in something that you once believed in, it's okay. That is for you to decide. Fuck that shit! But peer pressure? You get slapped saying that shit to me. Okay maybe not, but you will get cussed out, and I promise you that. All I'm saying is anybody over 15 need to start owning up to their shit and not use the lines that somebody else told them to. At this point, you are more than capable to make decisions for yourself. You have more than a beautiful mind to think things through and actually do that shit for yourself. No need for the bullshit. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man....I'm just saying...

Mixed Signals

Okay, so this one might have some points that I made in a previous post about people, but I decided to take it and elaborate a little bit. You see, I am somewhat of a straight shooter. I will tell you how I really feel, even if I'm saying it as a joke at the time. If I really don't want to do it, then I will let you know, but I will not put on like I'm going to do one thing and then be like fuck that, that ain't me. Simply put, I try my hardest not to send mixed signals. Yes, I'm going to give you honesty. What you get from what I do and what I say is on you, but I will explain myself when need be. I try to clear up all misunderstandings and try to work to make sure that it doesn't happen again. Of course, that is just me. I don't support those that send mixed signals. Don't be the chick in the freak-em dress on a date talking about how you ain't giving shit up til marriage. Don't be the dude on the date acting like you respect it when you trying to get her to fuck by next week. A mixed signal leads a person to believe one thing but is deterred by another. For example, coming over to a person's house during booty call hours tells the resident of that place that you want to fuck. Plain and simple. Don't get over there and say,"I just wanted to cuddle." Mutha fucka, you got a pillow at home don't you? Get the fuck outta here! Don't be inviting a person out on a date and expect them to pay for themselves. Umm last time I checked, you invited me out on this date. What the fuck? Expecting one thing from a person's words or actions and getting another is why it's called a mixed signal. It triggers a mix up in communication. Females have been known to do this the most, but there are males that do it too. Be a straight shooter. If a person don't want to give you what you want, find another. If you in a relationship, compromise, and if you can't do that, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship. All I'm saying is make your words match your actions. There are so many problems with people saying one thing but their actions saying another. Don't dress like a slut and say you're a saint. Don't pretend to listen and ain't heard a word that a mutha fucka said. I mean really? Don't send pictures of your body with no clothes and you ain't bussing it open. Yes I said it. If you ain't ready to put out, don't act like it and don't say it in your actions. That applies for both men and women. Don't be a tease EVER! This applies to everything, not just sex and relationships. Don't say "mmmm this is good" when your face says it's disgusting. Don't give a person hope that you want to talk to them when you really wish they would get hit by a car. Mixed signals are the worst. They are good way to lead to a lot of drama and bullshit. Avoid it all by making sure your words are acted out and vice versa. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Supporting the Wrong

Today is a double because I have had this topic on my mind since I decided to start this blog. It was going to be my first post ever, but I decided to wait a minute. 24 hours is good enough. I get so sick and tired of people thinking that they should get support from others that have something in common with them or are just close to them when they are clearly wrong. Chick, I'm not going to sit here and say,"that's right girl" when I know yo ass is wrong as fuck. Have you lost your mind? I am a die hard, extra strong advocate of right. I'm behind things that I think are right. If I feel you are right, I will support you. If not, don't be looking for that shit from me. PERIOD! Look for me to be one of the people that tell you about how wrong I think you are or you are proving yourself to be. For example, I do not support violence, but I also do not support provocation. I do not think it is it okay to provoke a person and then cry when this person retaliates. No, I'm not just talking about men hitting women because I have seen a dude cry because another dude hit him. Shit was ridiculous, but it could have been avoided. I can admit when I'm wrong, but that shit is hard. I'm just being honest. I might give excuses or try and justify it, but at the end of the day, if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Don't have me hyped up thinking that I am right when you think or know that I'm not. Don't dare fucken tell me I'm right and then change that shit later either. That is a great way to piss me off. People, looking for support from a friend, a family member, a person of the same sex, a significant other, pretty much anybody that can relate to you when you are wrong is wrong in itself. How? Because that is looking for validation that you can say or do whatever you want and everybody will back you up on it. Ummmm bullshit! I won't be the one. If anything, I'm not giving you that support. Instead of embarrassing you, I'm staying out of it and will tell you why later when we are not in public. If you want to get embarrassed, provoke me to try and be on your side. See what happens. I might just walk away. I might just let you have it. Who is fair game? Everybody. You know why? Because nobody is right all the time. No matter how much it may seem that way, no matter how much they are accurate or on point about something, everybody has times where they are wrong. Some more than others, but the shit happens. Don't support those that are wrong. You know how they say that in a court of law a person is innocent until proven guilty? To me, you just have to present your case. That will help me to determine how I stand, but from the start, if I think you are wrong, you have already lost my support until you present your case and show me that you are right. I'm not saying you got to explain yourself to me, but you might want to give me something if you want that "yeah you are right" from me because I don't just hand those out all the time everyday. Correct me if I'm wrong. Let me know, but please be an adult and be polite about it. It is not necessary to cuss me out or yell at me to get this point across. Thank you. There is a such thing as common courtesy, and no matter how much a person just can't take the fact that they are wrong, don't back them up if YOU think they are just incorrect. Don't matter what it is. It matters what your opinion is to you. For those of you that do this, stop looking for support on things you know you are wrong about and be using excuses like "we family, you supposed to have my back" and "i thought you was my friend" because that's bullshit, and if a person tells you are wrong, hear them out. Please don't tell somebody they are wrong and have no explanation of why this is unless it is blatantly obvious to everybody. That is just stupid. At the end of the day, we have to be grown-ups and recognize when we make mistakes (look out for a post on this too) and we see other people's mistakes. We also have to know when to take constructive criticism. These things are to be learning tools, and knowing when to back up a person and when to shut them down can help them more than hurt them. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Who Are You?

I titled this the way I did because there is always a discussion here and there about introductions and first impressions and what happens after all this. You see, we all present ourselves in a way that appeals to people when we meet them because we don't want them to  see how much of a crazy person we are from the beginning. Think about it. When you meet a person, unless they are a real blunt and ridiculous person, you never see the negative shit first unless you are meeting them at the wrong time. It may come out in the first conversation, but it is not presented in the first few words. Meeting online is different because you are not in this person's face, so whatever comes out on the screen is fair game, and it leaves the door wide open for that person to answer or not. Let's get past this and get to the getting together phase. Now, I will admit, some of the people that I have actually met didn't get much from me except the boot...after the fact. Yeah, you know what I am talking about. The thing is this was already discussed in the beginning, and it was embedded in my head, so going any further than that was something that still needed to be discussed. I have had relationships with someone that was initially just there for the sex, but I'm a single woman, so you know what happened with that. I'm not saying it doesn't work. I'm saying that those were times where the communication was wrong. With that being said, honesty is always the best policy. I'm sick of mutha fuckas walking around and telling people what they want to hear to get what they want. They present a complete misrepresentation of themselves and who they are. If you just want to fuck, just say that shit. You might just get what you want and more in the bedroom. That chick you thought was going to run away could just suck ya dick on the spot. That dude you thought was going to fuck you one time and cut you off could be around for years on in. Hell you don't know. You could be meeting the future husband or wife. I'm not saying that it happens like that, but anything is possible. Stop misrepresenting yourself as something that you are not or putting on like this is something that you want when it's not. Some men (you know who you are), stop running around here sending out the message that telling a chick that you looking for a relationship or just someone to cool it with when you really want a fuck buddy is okay. Women, stop sending the mixed signals that you going to buss it open when you not. If you want a relationship, be an adult and say that is what you looking for. If you looking to fuck and keep it moving, SAY THAT SHIT! No, I'm saying you should just walk up to people and say, "Hey my name is such and such, and I want to fuck," but don't be breaking down like you are some romantic when you really just fucking around. Don't take the person out on a romantic date just to get to the pussy and never call again. Don't go over a person house after booty call hours with no intention of fucking. No one's feelings should get hurt because you wanted to be a child and run around lying about who you are or what you want. Find a person that wants what you want or is on the same page as you. There are plenty of people out there for that. If your feelings change for the situation after the fact, say that shit. If you two still ain't on the same page, then that shit needs to cease. No point in continuing on in an uncomfortable situation. Don't go over somebody's house during booty call hours expecting just to go to sleep when you know what that person's wants and then get mad when you get felt on. Don't make the presentation that you are this super sweet and understanding person when you really just out to fuck and then get mad because that person don't want to give it up because they believed in the person that you presented yourself to be. I don't need you to be my hero. I need you to be honest. I have enough friends, and I'm open to make more, but if that is not what you want to be, don't tell me that shit. I want to hear THE TRUTH! Yes, there is some dumb ass that is reading this and is saying, "but women/men can't handle the truth." Guess what? There are people that are out there that can handle the truth, no matter what it is. If they can't, then that should tell you something. What I think? I think that one of the very first questions that need to come out a person's mouth when they meet someone else is "what are you looking for or what do you want?" This sets the stage for what happens next. I'm not going to try and make something happen with someone that wants to fuck if I want a relationship. Mutha fucka, we ain't going there. Just like some ridiculous ass females (yes I said it) be running around acting like they really digging a dude when they really just want to know what they can get out of them, some men be running around acting like they really digging a female when they really just want to get between her legs. FUCK THAT SHIT! I meant that about both. You see, bullshit, feelings, drama, unavoidable situations, this is all avoided when you just talk to a person and see where the head is at, and I mean the mind not oral intercourse. I had to clarify that for the gutter-minded like myself. Oh, and another thing: don't come off as a certain type of way, be consistent with it, and then just change and say some stupid shit like,"this the real me." Really bitch? Why you didn't you just tell me you are an asshole or a softie? I mean I might have been cool with it if you would have just let a mutha fucka know. I have dealt with the romantic turned asshole and the "hard ass" turned bitch. Trust me, that shit ain't kosher either way it goes. Be the person that you are at all times. It could get you somewhere. Don't change unless you want to. If you find this not working, time for self-evaluation. All I'm saying is this: approach is the first step, but please be honest with the rest. There are people that have been in my life for years because they were honest in the beginning, even if what we wanted has changed individually. Give someone else that same courtesy. That's all. If you a disrespectful mutha fucka that just wants to buss nut and move on, say so. You might end up meeting the counterpart that is the same or worse than you. Just communicate and BE HONEST! It works. Trust me. You don't have to think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Woman's Intuition

Okay, people, this is my first post on this blog, and the reason that I wrote it is because I was having this conversation with a friend, and I have to say that I do not agree with this wholeheartedly...for the women's point of view that is. Okay, we were talking about the so-called women's intuition, and I must say that we all do not have it. First, let's define intuition. Intuition, according to the Webster's Dictionary, is defined as "a quick and ready insight" or "immediate apprehension or cognition." There is one more: "the power or faculty of attaining direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought or inference." The things that you have intuition about is something that is wrong at the moment, not something that has been brewing inside of your head for months or even days on in. At least that is what it sounds like to me. Just because you feel like something or someone is wrong or something or someone is not right DOES NOT make that shit an intuition, especially if you have all kinds of details about it. Let's define assumption: "an assuming that something is true" or "a fact or statement (as a proposition, axiom, postulate, or notion) taken for granted." See the difference people...with that being said: please women, stop making assumptions and calling it intuition. Stop making shit up in your head and making yourself believe it so badly that it becomes real to you and you start to run with it, cussing mutha fuckas out and doing dumb shit. Yes, I am guilty of it, but we all make mistakes. One thing I don't say is my intuition said it. To tell the truth, I don't think that shit exists. I think that is a woman's way of saying something ain't right, but when you start doing shit like accusing mutha fuckas of doing shit you have no proof of them doing, then that is not intuition. It is an assumption. Hell, it's pretty much a lie until it can be proven to be the truth. "I think you fucking around on me." You got some proof of that? How you know? You being Inspector Gadget nigga, going through his or her shit and following that mutha fucka around? Guess what that it is? AN ASSUMPTION! Intuition tells you something ain't right, but it doesn't tell you what it is. An assumption tells you what you THINK it is but doesn't tell you if it is true or not. Stop running around this bitch saying it's your intuition when all the fuck you doing is throwing shit out to see if you can get some truth out of it. I'm not saying you can't think something is wrong about something. What I'm saying is don't fuck up your life because you done changed what could possibly be an intuition into an exaggeration and a situation that you can't get yourself out of. Some women do this, not all. No one is saying no woman has the right to say it, BUT don't just be throwing around that word like it's the new shoes on your feet or the dirty shirt you just took off your back. That is so not cool. No ma'am...that is not intuition that told you that. It was insecurity. Jealousy. Hatred. Anger. Lack of confidence. Assumption. Ridiculousness. It was something negative, but it wasn't intuition. To the women that believe they have this, please re-evaluate yourselves before you let this word roll off your lips. You don't have to think I know what I'm talking about. Hey man...I'm just saying...