One Sided Investments

Okay, after a six month hiatus, I am back people. Yes ladies and gentlemen, niggas and niggettes, I am back. The crowd goes wild...yaaay! Okay seriously, I wanted to say something about a subject people talk about and, of course, I had a conversation about earlier. Let's start with the story that got me on this topic in the first place. So my best friend and I was talking about chicks and whatnot. He proceeds to start talking about this chick he done hit right? Well he says to me, "I think she trying to be my girl." My next actions: Smacks forehead. Looks up. Says "seriously?" Yeah I did that. Why do I have a problem with this? She is about to get her feelings hurt, and the only person to blame is herself. Do I give a fuck? No. I am fresh out of those and don't plan to get anymore ever. Here's the thing. All that "oh we should be together shit" when y'all just fucking...yeah don't do that. The only time I see how feelings can get caught up in it is when you are getting special treatment, and no that don't include you getting picked up instead of riding the bus. Just because a mutha fucka decided you didn't have to walk that five minutes from the bus stop to his house don't mean he care about you any more than he did before. When the only thing that has been established between you two is that y'all gonna fuck, where does all this feelings shit come from? Men, you think only women do it? Hahahaha WRONG! Y'all do that shit too. "I'm saying though Keshia why won't you be my girl?" Fool I don't like you like that! Please! Loving these hoes? Yeah I ain't about that life. You gotta be doing some extra special shit for me to get that deep in it. If you gonna start investing your feelings into shit, at least make sure that that y'all are having more conversations other than when the next time you coming through to give up some ass. Yeah that's all you are there for and that is the only relationship you have decided to have with this person, so please dont do all that extra shit when you get shut down. I ain't saying it gonna work. I'm saying that 99% of the time you gonna be the only mutha fucka to feel that way if the only interaction y'all have is the five minutes it takes for you to set up a fuck session and the actual fuck session itself. If y'all have been getting it on for about six months and you don't know this mutha fucka full name and birthday, you will never be his/her significant other. Nah that ain't happening. I'll do you one better. If he/she does not ever mentions anything about y'all hanging out or chilling with each other outside of fucking, not even to go as far as to ask you what you doing with the rest of your day, you can definitely forget about ever getting this person to move things in a different direction. Being a friend is one thing, but when there is a strict put your clothes on and leave policy between y'all after y'all done doing the do, why would you want to be with this person? This one dude thought I had feelings for him after a couple of years of this song and dance. Lmao boy he is too stupid. If it has already been established that all y'all gonna do is have sexual intercourse with each other, leave ya feelings alone. They don't deserve to get hurt because you had some ridiculous notion that you could change this person and how they feel about this situation. Nah. Never that. When its just sex involved, that's all it needs to be. Don't think I know what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't. Hey man...I'm just saying...

Time to Leave

I was at the bus stop the other day, and this chick walks up and stands there with me. She looks irritated but I ask her how she is doing anyway. She says she is okay but clearly she isn't. She proceeds with making a phone call. I know she talking to a dude because she yelling at him about how he decided to stay with his friends and play whatever game system they was playing and not walk her to the bus stop. She goes into this spill about how he don't care about her and how he care more about his friends instead of her. He hangs up on her. She calls back (mistake number 2) and goes on yelling at him about how she never spent his money on other niggas but he done spent her money and is fucking other bitches and how disrespectful he is. Tears start running down her cheek as she gets on the bus and is still arguing with him some more until she hangs up. This all happened within a matter of five minutes. We as women have to do better than our emotions allow us to do. In reality, that is the ruler of 95% of our actions. How we feel about shit. She is probably in heavy lust with that nigga, but his constant bullshit is fucking her up inside. I have been there. Continuing to deal with someone's bullshit because of the good times that we have when everything is good and putting up the consistent bullshit that is being brought to the table. Every couple has problems. Everybody has imperfections, or uniqueness to them. Nobody's perfect, but you know when you are dealing with n ain't shit nigga and when it is time to call that shit quits. Yeah you see the signs. Time to call them out. Don't put up with nothing that shows no signs of changing. Don't be her, calling a nigga that is a 10 minute walk away in order to cuss him out over something like that. Be aware and make knowledge of your situation. It is only so long that you can go having a conversation over and over until something small can be become the biggest issue. In her case its time to leave. No one should put up with that kind of shit. I say no one because no male should put up with an ain't shit female either. Fellas, you know she ain't shit if the only time she happy wit you is when you get paid. You know when a chick is after ya money and the dick and when she is wit tiu for you. One thing that my ex's can say about me? I was with them for them. Fuck everything else. Yeah the ain't shit ones made themselves known, but not all of them fall into that category. Just because it is good to you don't mean it's good for you. There should be so much arguing in a relationship. There are better ways if communicating other than yelling at each other and cussing each other out. Please pay attention to the red flags and the signs but be aware of which is real flags and signs and what is made up shit in your mind. Despite what everybody say, there are faithful ones out there, and everybody doesn't cheat. There are still good one out there for the taking, and yes you can do better than him or her. Fuck what they say. Love? Love should never hurt, mentally, physically, or spiritually. If it is killing you to stay, its time to leave. It is going to hurt to go, but you will be better alone and have time to get ready for the next one. Yes this is true. This is not written in a tone from anger or anything. This is written in the perspective of somebody that understands what it is like to be in that position. Yes it sucks, but it can be avoided. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

You Can't Have My Password

Here is something that is brought up when talking about dating and relationships: your significant other either ask you to go through your shit or just did it? They ever find something they didnt want to see? Let me tell you a story: my freshmen year of college, I had a blackplanet account. Yes I said. I have been a college grad for two years, so it has been some years. Anyway, my boyfriend at the time had one too. We knew each other's usernames, and like dumbasses, we made each other's passwords related to the other person. Well he took it upon himself to guess mine and go through my messages, found one that sounded like I had feelings for another nigga, and sent it to me through e-mail to let me know he seen it. Irate is an understatement. I decided to do the same thing and found way worse shit. Needless to say, it was over after that. It was the one and only time I went through my significant other's shit, and I vowed never to do that shit again. So far so good. Reasoning: no one will ever get the permission to go through my shit like that. People, even in relationships and marriages, everybody deserves their privacy. It is up to that person to be an ain't shit person or not. If you decide to date or be with someone else, obviously you trust this person. What is the reason for going through their shit? You wanna prove to yourself that you are the shit or something? When you do that shit, you will always find something you don't like. It doesn't matter how major or minor it is, it always happens without fail. I'll tell you now. Fucking with me, you better hack my shit because I ain't giving you the password or handing you a damn thing. You can forget that shit. I don't give a fuck about where we at and what we are to each other. Can't front: I might show shit to my friends every once in a while, but they dont go through my shit without me saying so. Nobody does. That's how shit is. Don't mean I have shit to hide. It means I love my privacy and no one will be allowed to just openly violate it. You done lost yo damn mind if you think you going all through my texts and shit. Answer my phone? Get the fuck outta here! Don't worry about who writing on my wall on Facebook or what's in my e-mail. Personal opinion: unless y'all are on that level with each other where y'all don't give a fuck about going through each other's shit WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YALL GO THROUGH EACH OTHER'S SHIT, refrain from doing so. All that is going to do is create trust issues and bigger problems. Communication. Can't stress it enough. Please don't put on blast the shit you find if no one but yo friends that helped you look for through the shit or rooted you on to do it know, don't be bringing that shit up or throwing all in somebody's face. That shit burns bridges and shit. I have to admit: there was something that I saw and threw in an ex's face, but trust me when I say I wasn't looking for it. It just appeared. I handled the situation wrong. That is what happens when you do that shit. If you are going to be with someone, you have to be able to trust them, if it is trusting they are going to be the ain't shit person you think they are. Question: if you think they ain't shit, why you fucking wit them? The sex is a ridiculous and stupid answer by the way. You can fuck someone without all that extra shit. I am an assistant coach on team fuck and keep it moving. I say assistant because I know people that can do that shit better than me. Speaking of that, don't be interrogating and getting in the business of somebody you just fucking. Friends do it out of concern and noseyness, and so do family. Other than that, you are just annoying the shit outta someone and abusing a right or privilege you don't have. Sit the fuck down with that shit. Just cause I might have gave it up to you doesn't mean that you can be all in my shit. Hell even if I am your woman, you better keep that shit to a minimum. I dont do well with too many questions. Again it goes back to trust and adds in the element of insecurity. Guess what? Invading and destroying a person's privacy and trust for you ain't the way to go. Obviously if I am wit you, I trust you. If I didnt, it wouldn't even gotten this far, so don't make me question your trust for me by pulling that dumb shit. I ain't wit it, and nobody else should be either. That's bullshit. I hope that everybody takes this from this post: tend to your own shit and stay on top of yours. Be the lady or gentleman that you were raised to be and treat everyone with the respect t they deserve by respecting their privacy. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Good Men and Women Still Exist

I tell you, the conversations that I have had with friends over the years have stuck to me like my skin to my bones. For the longest I have heard my single friends come to me and say that there ain't any good men or women out there and if they do exist they are already taken. I will tell you the same thing I told them: that's bullshit. You just have to find one. Single women, I will address you first. There are plenty of good single men out there in the world for you to find and date and shit. No all men are not the same and all are not to fuck and leave. Please stop saying that shit, or at least don't say that shit to me. I do believe it nor do I want to hear it. Evaluate your personality, attitude, and personal beliefs before you give a man the time of day because there could be a good man in front of your face and you would kill that shit with the way you treat him and waiting for him to fuck up. Single mena and lesbians, there are good women out there that are not filled with drama or only want to dip in your pocket. Trust me when I say there are women that are willing to treat you like the king (or queen) that you are because you have decided to be a part of their life. Do not approach every woman with a divide and conquer attitude either. Most women are not with that shit. Communication baby. It is the foundation to everything having to do with significant others and romantic relationships. Hell it's the foundation for everything period. Try to get to know a person if you gonna judge them. Every woman ain't a gold digging bitch, and every male ain't a dog ass mutha fucka. Once we quit treating each other as such, then there will be more good men and women around for the picking. Get yourself in check before you pass judgement and don't believe the societal bullshit that swarms around you. Otherwise you are going to be a lonely mutha fucka for the rest of your life. There are.good ones still out there. They are all around you. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Switch-Up

I called this post what I called it because that is the perfect name for what I am about to talk about. You see, there is something that I have thought about and have experienced when dealing with a few people in the past, including family and friends. Ever been in private with somebody, and they act one way in front of you, but when you get in front of other people, their behavior changes? Yeah I've been there and done it without knowing it. It is one thing when you are dealing with different walks of life and different types of friends. This is something that is often considered adapting. Yeah that is how it happens sometimes. This becomes different when dealing with somebody that you have some sort of emotional or physical relationship with. Please, please, for the love of Pete, do not be all lovey dovey behind closed doors and then when you get in front of your friends start fronting like you don't act like that. I mean seriously? That is hella childish. Don't be calling yo man daddy and waiting on him hand and foot at home but then start kicking it to your friends like you run shit. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! Fellas that do this, don't be calling here all kinds of boo's and baby's when yall alone but when you get in front of everybody else then it's "yeah I run this shit" just to look hard. I busted out my ex in high school when he decided to tell people that he don't eat pussy. Trust and believe, he deserved it. Stop kicking it out the way that it ain't. If you wash that mutha fucka's dirty drawers, say that shit. Fuck what other people think. They are not in this thing that you two have got going on. And another thing, put the relationship out there the way it is. Don't be calling somebody your significant other in front of people so that you can have that person to yourself but continue to treat them like the cut friend that person is. I'm telling you, that is some ultimate bullshit. If you end up the victim in this situation, FRONT THAT ASS OUT! Tell that mutha fucka in front of everybody how it is...if they get mad, make the beginning steps to cut that ass off. Trust and believe, nobody should have to go under the treatment of experiencing two people in their life when there is only one other person in the room. Don't be false claiming cuz you jealous and selfish. Can't handle that person fucking somebody else? Cuff or leave it be and find somebody else that is going to be willing to let you fuck around but won't do it themselves. One big important thing: COMMUNICATION! Talk shit out, but make sure to let this person know that you are not about their bullshit and the way that they act around closed doors is the way they need to act in public, in front of friends, in front of family, etc. If you wait on me hand and foot at home, that is how you need to be at all times, PERIOD! Equal treatment at all times. I don't give a fuck. No that does not give the golden ticket to be a dick or a bitch at all times, but there needs to be some sort of consistency in behavior because two faces are not better than one. Don't treat a person like shit in front of your family, but don't take those in front of people you don't want them to meet. Again, this does not give a person a ticket to act like a straight ass. Period. I be damned if I'm baby when we alone but as soon as your friends come around, I'm just Keshia. Umm what happened to baby? Fuck that. I don't like that shit, and it should never be tolerated. You better get ya shit together, and establish how you going to kick it to everybody, get your emotions in line, and make sure communication and HONESTY (yes that is just as important) is always present and happens. Can't talk shit out? You about to have a hard life. Remember to keep only one face and let it be the only one that you should wear. Period. Need to work on it? Baby steps, but this is how things should be. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...