Yeah You Know You Said It

You at work. You have been told that it has been voiced that you are not working like everyone expects you to do. Somebody has been saying that you don't do shit but sit around until it is time for you to go. You know this shit is not true by any means, but you really want to know who has been spreading these false lies about you. Finally, you find out who did it. You confront this person, and what do they do? They don't have anything to say to you, and then they have the nerve to be more mad than you are. Excuse me mutha fucka, but what the fuck do you have to be mad about? You the one that was sitting here talking all kinds of mad shit to the managers about me, and now you have the audacity to get mad and shit when I confront you about it? Are you fucken serious? Sit down! If you know you are doing this shit, just say, "yeah I said it" and keep it moving. Of course, the person that is confronting you about is gonna want to know why it is that you are saying this shit, but it is up to you to make the decision to talk to them about it or not. My strong suggestion: don't say anything about a person behind their back that you can't say to their face. I mean, this was some real bitch nigga shit. I mean for real? You gonna lie on me and then bitch up when I come to you about it? Let me inform the masses that I am not talking about females here. I am talking about what is supposed to be a grown ass man lying on a real grown ass man. Word? What the fuck is the purpose in this fuckery? Let me explain something to those that thinks shit likes this is okay: it gets you nowhere. Managers may promote telling on people, but they don't really like it. You will be forever labeled as the snitch, and no one is gonna be around you or talk to you. You will not get promoted or be in the good graces of any manager or supervisor because of it, and they will not be your friend. Oh and please believe if htey find out you are lying, you just put your job at jeopardy if you don't lose the shit. Now, if you are just a vindictive mutha fucka and don't give a fuck about any of that shit, do what you do, but if you gonna do it, at least have the decency to tell the truth. I mean seriously. Why the fuck do you feel like you have to lie? That is fucken ridiculous. This does not just apply to work. This applies to everything in life. It will never save you from anything or preserve a damn thing. If you said it, then you said it. Don't matter the reason why you said it, even though that will come in handy if you decide to explain why you said it. If you doing ridiculous shit like that, then be grown about it and admit to it. Yeah I said it. I did that. Don't be loud about it or yell or decide this is the time to be Billy Bad Ass because that shit is not only unnecessary but also something you don't have the right to even think of doing. Be prepared to have an angry mutha fucka in your face if you running around lying on them and telling on them like a 5-year-old child. When I am angry, I say shit that is utterly ridiculous but it comes out of pure emotion. Once, I was confronted about it. I owned up to it. Yeah I said that. Done deal. That is what needs to happen. There are consequences to this, but if it wasn't said in the first place, then this kind of shit wouldn't happen. Case in point: don't say shit about someone that you don't want coming back up later. You gonna pull some shit like that to anyone, then you best to be prepared to have a conversation later about it. Don't be a bitch. It's not a good look. Yes that applies to females too. Gender does not ever play a factor. Age don't either. This is a public service announcement. Don't think you know what I'm talking about? Hey man..I'm just saying...

Who You Talking To?

I always feel like I need to remind mutha fuckas at times that I am an adult. Its emphasized so much because I truly think that some people forget that I am a 25 year old grown ass woman and not some 7 year old child that needs discipline. I don't need nobody to pull out a belt and whoop me. I dont need somebody all down my throat over every fucken thing. I don't need you in my face sounding like a Rhode Scholar because you feel like you got to prove you ate smart. Guess what bitch? I'm smart and I have a lot more short and simpler words that get the job done just as good. Don't talk down to me. Don't toot your nose up at me. Dont talk to me like a kid. My parents talk to me and recognize me as the adult that I am, and I am their child. I expect the same from everybody else. Recognize the fact that you are not only talking to an adult but a semi civilized one at that. Adding in my credentials is only necessary when talking to people that feel they need a reason to treat you differently. You need a reason to treat me like a grown ass woman? I just gave you one. Either act right towards me or shut the fuck up. I don't argue either, but I do find myself at times stooping to the level of others and acting the fuck out. Just me being childish because that is what that is. Oh you got beef? Come talk to me at a voice that is at normal level. Use your inside voice. Don't come yelling, hoot, hollering all in my shit and think for a second that I want to talk to you about anything. We are not having any sort of a conversation with you throwing tantrums and acting like a 5 year old. Hell I know a 5 year old and she don't act out that bad, so I will not accept that from someone that hasn't been in grade school for more than a year. You done lost yo mind and yo common sense thinking I am going to respond to that. Oh and don't think because I have some sort of connection with you that you have now become my boss and can just demand me to do shit. Who in the blue fuck do you think you are talking to? Take that demand and shove it up yo lazy ass. If you want me to do something, ask me, and make sure you say please and thank you. I am not talking to my fam or my crew or anybody else that has showed me this respect. No I am talking to all the people out there that think that because we fucking or are in a relationship or are over me at work or just have some sort of rapport with me you can just talk to me any kind of way. Umm fuck you. I dont accept. You will get a response from me, but it wont be pleasant. I don't take well to being yelled at, so please keep your voice to a minimum when talking to me. Now I know when I get excited that my voice raises and I have no clue when that is happening. I know the difference between naturally loud and yelling. Don't fucken yell or holler at me. Another thing: I cuss a lot. It's my second language. No matter what my mood is, I cuss. I know when I am being cussed out. Don't think you will get away with that Scott free unless I deserved and even then there are better ways of going about talking to me about than all that extra. I don't do dramatics except for the shit I watch on TV. Fuck the bullshit. Watch ya mouth when talking to somebody because people are crazy these days and yo ass will be the next one on the news because you was all big bad and bold and talked down to the wrong person. You like being talked to like that? That's on you. Me personally, I will pass. Fuck that shit. I ain't telling anybody to do anything. It is just a suggestion. A very strong one. Don't get asked the question of who you are talking to because any statement after that probably wont be too good. Respect is earned, and in order to earn it you must give it. Pass it around along with those smiles people. Communication is the key to this message. Learn how to communicate with others on the level that they deserve and you want them to communicate with you. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

No Attraction to All

Okay so here is something I feel needs to be spoken on because this has gotten on my fucken nerves since high school. Sigh...here we go: to the straight people of the world that believe that all people of the gay, lesbian or bisexual community are attracted to everybody of the same sex as them, go fuck yourselves. Yes I said it and I meant it. I am so sick and tired of someone finding out another person is gay and says, "well as long as they don't hit on me, I'm cool." Umm what the fuck makes you think that you look so fucken hot that they just couldn't resist the urge to want to hit on you? Hoe sit down! Yeah I went there. Fuck it. Most of the people that say this shit are straight and just think they are hot shit. Yeah you look like hot shit. Fuck outta here. Just because a person is attracted to the same sex DOES NOT mean that they are attracted to everybody of that gender. Lesbians are not attracted to all women. Gay men are not attracted to all men. They have types and standards just like everybody else. Don't believe me? I know plenty of people that can explain this to you, inlcuding myself. Am I a lesbian? No I am bisexual, which means I like women too, but my friends will tell you in a quickness that I don't like all men OR women. I am picky as fuck. Like I said before, standards and types. Get yo ass off that $3.99 plastic pedestal that you have put yourself on and have a seat in the place reserved for regular mutha fuckas because that is what you are if you truly believe that every gay person is gonna want you like that or just because a person is attracted to the same gender you are on that list. You don't know how many people I have been wanting to shut the fuck down because they have made comments like that. This bitch said that shit to me one day and I just laughed. Hoe you shaped like a bag of laundry and look like King Kong in the face and you think I want you? Kill yourself first, then maybe you have a chance as somebody that looks better. Fuck outta here with that shit. People forget real quick that we are all human and act the same in various ways. You are not the exception to this shit sweetie. Shut it down before I shut it down for you. If you have any doubt or disbelief about what I am saying, ask and see if you don't get rejected by at least one person that is of the same sex as you and is actually homosexual. It will happen. Trust me on that shit. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

Unladylike

Ever since high school, I have always had my own sense of living. I knew I would never be that skinny chick in the movies and magazines. I knew I wasn't the prettiest thing walking. I knew I wasn't the best at everything. I quit caring what other people think unless they are close to me and even then that shit is limited. One of my pet peeves is when someone tells me something is unladylike. I shouldn't be doing that because a lady never does those things. I am a grown ass woman and is capable of doing things that some men can't do. No I don't even get close to thinking that i can do everything a man can do. I can't, and I will admit that with no shame or malice or anything. I am all woman and have been since the day I was born, but stop telling me what it is appropriate it is for me to do and not to do. Its unladylike to spit, but every once in a while I do that shit. Its unladylike to cuss, but my mouth is foul as shit. Its unladylike to sit with your legs open, but mine are slightly open all the time. Hell I have big thighs that touch. I cant close my legs all the way for long periods of time. That causes cramps. Anyway, I don't know who wrote the handbook on how to control a grown ass woman by telling her the shit she does is reserved for men only, but the copy that was meant for me has been burned and buried baby. Fuck that shit. I don't care about what is unladylike. Who the fuck said I was a lady? I am a woman, yes this is true and I am fully capable of being a lady, but I am me. I want to drink beer, watch football, spit, cuss, and fart. Shit I am human and I have interests in a lot of things and habits that span around a lot of shit. The last of my concern is if my ankles are crossed when I am sitting or what is coming out my mouth when I am not talking to the person trying to correct me. Who the fuck are you talking to? Hell nah. Go away. My thing is this: do you have your life together while you over here criticizing and critiquing mine? Probably not, so go mind your own fucken business. If you see me doing some unladylike shit, don't voice it to me that you think it's unladylike. I dont give two fucks about that. I am living. Do the same. Oh you don't have a life huh? Tough shit. Don't know what to tell you, but stay yo ass out my face telling me that I shouldn't do this that and the third because isn't ladylike. Who the fuck cares? As long as I know when to act like a lady and to just be me, I'm good. As long as there is a breath in my body, I will act as I want and do as I want. Deal with it because sometimes being a lady only goes so far. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

That's Not My Job

Everybody I know has had at least 3 jobs in their life. Yes I said 3. Let me remind you I am 25. This is normal. Anyway, we all have had at least one boss that has told us to do out job plus extra shit. What extra shit you may ask?  Things that are not listed in our job description to do and is not our responsibility. Excuse me? Just because you make a couple of extra dollars than me and where some special shirt and got some authority don't mean that I will be ready and willing to do your job for you. You the supervisor right? Why am I looking over the rest of the employees making sure they get shit done? That ain't my job. You the manager right? Why am I looking over the other employees' work and evaluating it? That ain't my job. When you promote me and give me the pay, then I will be more than happy to do that shit plus some because it would be my job. Dont think because you hold my job in your hands that you just own me. Fuck that shit. I know of a few good words that I can say to you that would be me being respectful and saying fuck you all at once. Dont try me like that. Something you managament folk need to realize is that we lower level employees will not listen to orders given to each other FROM EACH OTHER! I don't mind helping another employee or us working together or training another employee to do what we do at the job, but all this supervision and managing shit is for just that type of person- the supervisor and manager. If I am neither, which I have never been, do not expect me to act like it or stand in your place for any period of time. What the fuck I look like? Oh and I want you to threaten to fire me. What you think that is about to do? I will let you know to your face: that ain't my job. That is not what I was hired to do. Man really? You want an employee to do something right? Tell them to do it. I ain't your flunky. Don't be telling me to do that shit. "Look over everything while I go handle this." If some shit go down, what am I supposed to do? You ain't about to hold me responsible. I know that shit. If you call me in during my off day, don't be talking to me as if you doing me the favor. Umm you called me. I didn't ask for this shit, so don't be fucken talking to me like I am just all extra wrong for helping yo ass out. What the fuck ever! And stop throwing your weight around and acting as if we don't know who you are. We all get the point. We know who you are and what your position is. Thank you for informing us. Now get the fuck out the way so I can do my damn job and sit yo ass down some fucken where. Geez. Some mutha fuckas act like they ain't never had nothing before. Oh and plead don't be so lazy on your job that your work is spilled over to me. Umm no! I protest the fuck out that shit. You must be out your mind and have lost all common sense to think I will accept that with a smile. Shitting me. I will ask you 5011 questions before hand. I am the one. Oh and dont have me doing shit that I was not hired to do. If my job is to solely sweep and mop floors, why you want me to paint walls? That is what the painters are for. This is just an example of what I call extra shit. Look, just because you are given that kind of responsibility does not mean you need to abuse it. Case in point: DO YOUR OWN FUCKEN JOB AND LET ME DO MINE! Shit! Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Period...Fuck It!

Today, I seen the same signs that I see every month. The slight pink that shows up that lets me know that Aunt Flow is coming to visit. Bitch. Wanna know who Aunt Flow is? For those that have not figured it out by now it is my period, my cycle, the rag, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Why am I sitting here about to go off about something that is natural and has been happening since I was 12? Because it just brings me pain, moodiness, and occasionally fucks up my clothes. That's why. FUCK A MENSTRUAL CYCLE! Yeah I said it and I mean every word of that shit. Men stop telling women that they will be all right when they are having cramps. Until you know what a menstrual cramp is like, you have no right to tell a female it ain't that bad. Let's see y'all do this shit month in month out for decades. Wouldn't last two days on a cycle. Yeah I said it. This is one thing that I believe all women agree on. PERIODS ARE THE WORST! I am 25 years old and been going through this shit for the past 13 years. To this day, every time my period is showing signs of showing up, I am already pissed the fuck off. I have been through four different emotions in the past three hours. Who the fuck lives like this? UGH! Complete bullshit. And then there's the cramps. I have seen women double over and look like their uterus is trying to eat through their bodies because the cramps are so bad. My cramps put me out of commission. Its bad enough the cycle is halting my sex life in a major way but for the first couple of days or so I have to deal with pain too? What the FUCK man? There is nothing that can really be done about having this shit every month except have my uterus cut out, get pregnant (which I have heard that some women still have a period), or take pills specialized to halt this kind of things. Even though I despise being on it, I am perfectly fine with the purpose of a menstrual cycle. Oh and supposed to be grown ass men, if I hear one more of you say eww when a chick is talking about this shit or tells you she is on it, I want to personally slap the taste out your mouth. Every woman goes through this every month once a month, sometimes twice...GET OVER IT! What is the point of this blog? To express my hatred for my cycle. I hate it. Plain and simple. If there was a way for me to have done what a period does and not have to go through the bleeding the cramps and the fuck up of emotion, I would be much happier with life. Since there isn't, I will continue to take on bitch every time this fucken few days comes along. So aggravating. Smh. Hey man...I'm just saying...