Getting The Right Fit...The Nasty Way

Some of these grown ass boys out here are fucken hilarious. I mean they are funny as shit. It's crazy how you are given the green light to get what you want and you fuck it up in the worst way: by trying to make it seem that you are something that you are not. Let's get into a scenario: a chick offers to give it up. You take the opportunity and you meet up with her. Everything is going smoothly. And then yall get down to the act. You pull out this Magnum and put it on like it just fits perfectly or some shit and get to it only for it to continuously slide and possibly break. THIS IS NOT HOT! I dont know know who told some mutha fuckas that this is impressive or that it will give a female this thought that you doing something, but all you are doing is pissing her off with this stopping and starting shit. Like what in your right mind makes you believe that your dick is so huge that you need that shit? Oh you dont wanna look like the short dick mutha fucka that you are in front of the people in the store when you buy them? Why do you give a fuck what they think? They aint fucking you. Maybe you aint a short dick male, but you aint a Magnum man. You know it and every chick you done pulled it out in front of knows it. All you are doing is setting yourself up for a fiasco hunny. I'm a grown ass woman and I am gonna put it out there: stop buying fucken condoms that you know yo ass cant fit. You are not doing much sir but cutting yourself off and putting yourself in the position to be dogged the fuck out. I mean really? You know why you couldnt fuck like you wanted to? Because the condom dont fit. You know why you kept getting nervous and scared? Because you was fearing that mutha fucka coming off. You know why you kept checking it and heard that dreadful snap when it broke? Because you shouldnt have been fucking with that shit in the first place. Compare it to a construction site. You not going to hammer a nail with just a handle. You cant drill with a manual screwdriver baby. Let's go to sports: you wont play football with a basketball. You wont wear cleats on a court. Why the fuck would you wear a condom you clearly cant fit? GET YO SHIT TOGETHER! Females, dont let these boys out here get away with that shit. If they pull that on you and you catch them, front that ass out. If you catch it after the fact, cut that ass off! Fuck him. He will live. Let him pull that fuck shit on another bitch because that is not okay. If they keep getting away with it, they gonna keep do it. Fellas, start fucking with the right shit. Dont be out here trying to trick a bitch. That shit aint safe and its stupid on your part because she aint gonna accept it. Oh and ladies, destroy the confidence that these "dick slangers," and I use that term loosely, have in themselves to be doing shit like that. When you are trying to get a job done, you need the right equipment. If you dont have it, ask her to provide it for you. If you know its old or whatnot, replace it. Go in that thing strong because if you dont, you will be the joke of the day. Can't do that? You better show her what that mouth do. Yeah I went there. Real men know where I am coming from. They are reading this shit right now saying to themselves, "HELL YEAH!"  Please believe that. Its as simple as knowing what you got and working with it. Honesty does impress real women, and if she dont want it, find a bitch that will because you fooling and losing by lying about it. Don't get mad when yo ass get sent home because you pulling out shit that dont belong to you naturally. And dont ever use a Durex. That shit will get you laughed at to your face. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Haha take note mutha fuckas! Hey man...I'm just saying...

Team No Sugarcoating

Honesty is something that everybody ask for. No matter what the subject is, everyone demands some level of honesty from other people. Everyone wants others to tell the truth, but everybody can't handle it. This post will talk about both subjects along with a third. First off: don't sugarcoat something for someone that has ask for your advice or personal opinion. Remind them that this is your personal opinion and speak your mind how you see fit. Don't be rude or start yelling. Be adult about it but at the same time, don't sugarcoat a damn thing. They want your honesty. Make it brutual so they get everything you feel or think about what they asking about. Sugarcoating will not give that person what they want or might even make things worse. Just say the shit, even if it ends up in a sporadic rant. I do it more often than in the past. Secondly: please don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to. I can't stand that shit. If you really don't want the answer to it, don't ask the damn question because whoever you ask is going to give you the answer you didn't want to hear or was trying to avoid. May not happen all the time, but a great majority of the time, the things you didn't want to know are on the other end of those dreaded question. Really don't want to know: don't fucken ask! This is another place where no sugarcoating comes into place. You see, if a person is asking you a question, they want the answer. It is not your job to read their mind and figure out if they really want the answer or not. It is your job to be completely honest and answer the shit. Worry about the other shit later, or don't worry about the shit at all. Team fuck yo feelings usually plays a great game in this one. Third: learn how to handle the truth, no matter how it is given to you. If you don't feel it is the truth, voice that, but don't think everybody is lying to you because there is other people, even if it is just one, that knows you better than you do. Don't ask for completely honesty and then want to snap or flip the fuck out when you get it. That's what you wanted right? Would you rather me lie? Oh you wanted me to tell you what you wanted to hear right? Umm fuck that shit. I'm going to give you what you asked for and what I promised to you: honesty. The truth. Fuck it. If I lie to you, it is going to make it worse. Time to grow the fuck up and take what I am telling you. I will only tell you what you want to hear if I agree with it. Other than that, it ain't going down like that. What I am saying is this: honesty is something that everybody wants and the truth is something everybody wants, but if you don't wanna know, don't ask. If the person wants to volunteer the info, then fine. That is on them, but if you are dying to know, be prepared for what you want and even more prepared for what you don't. Don't ask a person to be honest if you are going to coach them on what to say. That is not wanting honesty. That is wanting to read ya mind and run with your beliefs and feelings about the shit. Guess what? No one can read a fucken mind, and not everybody will tell you what you wanted to hear. Sorry. Wont happen. Yeah I got some work to do in these catergories. I will admit that I have work to do when it comes to this stuff. That's the truth. Always be ready for it. Don't think I know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...