Thursday, June 21, 2012

Getting The Right Fit...The Nasty Way

Some of these grown ass boys out here are fucken hilarious. I mean they are funny as shit. It's crazy how you are given the green light to get what you want and you fuck it up in the worst way: by trying to make it seem that you are something that you are not. Let's get into a scenario: a chick offers to give it up. You take the opportunity and you meet up with her. Everything is going smoothly. And then yall get down to the act. You pull out this Magnum and put it on like it just fits perfectly or some shit and get to it only for it to continuously slide and possibly break. THIS IS NOT HOT! I dont know know who told some mutha fuckas that this is impressive or that it will give a female this thought that you doing something, but all you are doing is pissing her off with this stopping and starting shit. Like what in your right mind makes you believe that your dick is so huge that you need that shit? Oh you dont wanna look like the short dick mutha fucka that you are in front of the people in the store when you buy them? Why do you give a fuck what they think? They aint fucking you. Maybe you aint a short dick male, but you aint a Magnum man. You know it and every chick you done pulled it out in front of knows it. All you are doing is setting yourself up for a fiasco hunny. I'm a grown ass woman and I am gonna put it out there: stop buying fucken condoms that you know yo ass cant fit. You are not doing much sir but cutting yourself off and putting yourself in the position to be dogged the fuck out. I mean really? You know why you couldnt fuck like you wanted to? Because the condom dont fit. You know why you kept getting nervous and scared? Because you was fearing that mutha fucka coming off. You know why you kept checking it and heard that dreadful snap when it broke? Because you shouldnt have been fucking with that shit in the first place. Compare it to a construction site. You not going to hammer a nail with just a handle. You cant drill with a manual screwdriver baby. Let's go to sports: you wont play football with a basketball. You wont wear cleats on a court. Why the fuck would you wear a condom you clearly cant fit? GET YO SHIT TOGETHER! Females, dont let these boys out here get away with that shit. If they pull that on you and you catch them, front that ass out. If you catch it after the fact, cut that ass off! Fuck him. He will live. Let him pull that fuck shit on another bitch because that is not okay. If they keep getting away with it, they gonna keep do it. Fellas, start fucking with the right shit. Dont be out here trying to trick a bitch. That shit aint safe and its stupid on your part because she aint gonna accept it. Oh and ladies, destroy the confidence that these "dick slangers," and I use that term loosely, have in themselves to be doing shit like that. When you are trying to get a job done, you need the right equipment. If you dont have it, ask her to provide it for you. If you know its old or whatnot, replace it. Go in that thing strong because if you dont, you will be the joke of the day. Can't do that? You better show her what that mouth do. Yeah I went there. Real men know where I am coming from. They are reading this shit right now saying to themselves, "HELL YEAH!"  Please believe that. Its as simple as knowing what you got and working with it. Honesty does impress real women, and if she dont want it, find a bitch that will because you fooling and losing by lying about it. Don't get mad when yo ass get sent home because you pulling out shit that dont belong to you naturally. And dont ever use a Durex. That shit will get you laughed at to your face. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Haha take note mutha fuckas! Hey man...I'm just saying...

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