Getting The Right Fit...The Nasty Way

Some of these grown ass boys out here are fucken hilarious. I mean they are funny as shit. It's crazy how you are given the green light to get what you want and you fuck it up in the worst way: by trying to make it seem that you are something that you are not. Let's get into a scenario: a chick offers to give it up. You take the opportunity and you meet up with her. Everything is going smoothly. And then yall get down to the act. You pull out this Magnum and put it on like it just fits perfectly or some shit and get to it only for it to continuously slide and possibly break. THIS IS NOT HOT! I dont know know who told some mutha fuckas that this is impressive or that it will give a female this thought that you doing something, but all you are doing is pissing her off with this stopping and starting shit. Like what in your right mind makes you believe that your dick is so huge that you need that shit? Oh you dont wanna look like the short dick mutha fucka that you are in front of the people in the store when you buy them? Why do you give a fuck what they think? They aint fucking you. Maybe you aint a short dick male, but you aint a Magnum man. You know it and every chick you done pulled it out in front of knows it. All you are doing is setting yourself up for a fiasco hunny. I'm a grown ass woman and I am gonna put it out there: stop buying fucken condoms that you know yo ass cant fit. You are not doing much sir but cutting yourself off and putting yourself in the position to be dogged the fuck out. I mean really? You know why you couldnt fuck like you wanted to? Because the condom dont fit. You know why you kept getting nervous and scared? Because you was fearing that mutha fucka coming off. You know why you kept checking it and heard that dreadful snap when it broke? Because you shouldnt have been fucking with that shit in the first place. Compare it to a construction site. You not going to hammer a nail with just a handle. You cant drill with a manual screwdriver baby. Let's go to sports: you wont play football with a basketball. You wont wear cleats on a court. Why the fuck would you wear a condom you clearly cant fit? GET YO SHIT TOGETHER! Females, dont let these boys out here get away with that shit. If they pull that on you and you catch them, front that ass out. If you catch it after the fact, cut that ass off! Fuck him. He will live. Let him pull that fuck shit on another bitch because that is not okay. If they keep getting away with it, they gonna keep do it. Fellas, start fucking with the right shit. Dont be out here trying to trick a bitch. That shit aint safe and its stupid on your part because she aint gonna accept it. Oh and ladies, destroy the confidence that these "dick slangers," and I use that term loosely, have in themselves to be doing shit like that. When you are trying to get a job done, you need the right equipment. If you dont have it, ask her to provide it for you. If you know its old or whatnot, replace it. Go in that thing strong because if you dont, you will be the joke of the day. Can't do that? You better show her what that mouth do. Yeah I went there. Real men know where I am coming from. They are reading this shit right now saying to themselves, "HELL YEAH!"  Please believe that. Its as simple as knowing what you got and working with it. Honesty does impress real women, and if she dont want it, find a bitch that will because you fooling and losing by lying about it. Don't get mad when yo ass get sent home because you pulling out shit that dont belong to you naturally. And dont ever use a Durex. That shit will get you laughed at to your face. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Haha take note mutha fuckas! Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Fuckery Known As Teasing

I couldn't help but to touch in this subject because I get peeved at just hearing stories about it. Here's the scenerio. You get these texts from a chick right. She start profusing how she wants to fuck and all that. She sends you pics of her body and be telling you how horny she is and blah blab blah. So you start thinking to yourself, "oh she wants to fuck ASAP. Yeah I need to try and make this happen." As my best friend likes to say, opportunity. Anyway, you go in for the gusto and start talking about setting something up. All of a sudden, she ain't wit it. She starts talking about other shit and don't want to even fathom y'all actually doing the shit she talking. She just wanted to voice her thoughts. She wanted to let you know how she was feeling. Now you sitting there with a hard dick or a wet pussy all by yourself. You know what I call that? Fuck shit! Teasers are some of the worst people on earth. Any male or female that does this should be shot. Okay maybe not shot, but dammit man that shit is the worst. Don't tease me. If you talking about giving it to me, you better follow through because not doing so will get yo ass kicked. Ladies, don't tease people. I address some women because females are notorious for doing it. Wanting to fuck and not being able to do it is one thing. Talking about fucking and refusing to do it? Totally different. I can't stand even hearing a story about a teaser. Shit irks the fuck outta me. Oh you can send me pictures of your half naked to naked body but I can't see it in person? Get the fuck outta here. So you pull out the penis for me to see but don't want to give it to me? Where they do that at? Either give it up or don't make me want it. I do not encourage taking anything now. Don't get it twisted. If you encounter a teaser, give them three chances to follow through or cut that ass off. Teasers get no approval, no matter how good they look. You feeling on me getting me all hot and bothered but don't wanna fuck. What? That will not do. If you don't fuck me somebody else will. Just know yo ass ain't off the hook until I get tired of trying. If I am sitting here telling you how much you turn me on and what I want to do to you, then obviously I want to fuck and I will follow through. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. That's how it should be. Yeah the conversation of sex can happen and yes people are attracted to those that they can't have. Its life. Don't be a tease. That's some real fucked up shit. I'm pissed just talking about it. Don't promise to give it up and don't do it. Omg those are the absolute WORST! How you gonna give this lip about fucking the shit out of a person and then when it is time to put up or shut up, you quiet as fuck? That deserves an invite to you cut land. Too old and impatient for that bullshit. That's what it is
Bullshit, and I have zero tolerance for that. I do recognize that shit happens, and in those cases, this does not apply. All other situations do apply and should be treated as such. You don't want a relationship? Fuck and keep it moving. If you don't know how to do that, it is never too late to learn. Just don't tease a person. Men that goes for you too. Yes i have personal experience with that. Not being the teaser but being teased. Can't deal with it. Don't be a perpetrator of this heinous crime. Just buss it open. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...