Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hitting the Sheets? Hit the Showers!

Warning: this post is vulgar as shit. I have changed some of my language to make it a little cleaner, but it is still kinda raunchy. You have been warned. Enjoy reading.
Something that me and my friends have laughed about but really have dodged and have been good at avoiding is the smelly body experience. Let's paint the picture. You talking to that fine chick you have been trying to get at for like months now. She talk that good shit in ya ear, telling you what she want to do and how she want to hook up. You set it up and whatnot, glad that she done finally gave in. She comes over. Y'all start touching and feeling each other literally, and clothes start to hit the floor. And here comes the smell. Yeah there is a smell that has made its way to your nose, and you are now in the process of trying to figure out what it is. Guess what? It's her. Yeah that fine chick you done finally got naked smells like hot fish. You can't believe this so you do the smell test. Yeah you put your fingers down there and bring them to your face. Inches from your nose, the smell is more evident than before. Yeah you're disgusted. I'm disgusted just painting that picture for you. Stank vajaja is a no-no, people. I mean really? You know you about to buss it open, you need to take care of that. Wipe it out, clean it, make sure it is smelling good and ready for action. Please do not open your legs and believe it is okay to fuck when you just came from a run or workout. Hell if you been running around all day and he just got to have it, take a second, wipe it out, and do a smell check on yourself. Yes I said it. No man or woman should be on the receiving end of bad smelling vajaja. As my best friend has said, "if I can smell it I know you can smell it." Don't be acting like you don't know you have a smell to you. That is not something to be oblivious to. Oh and don't come in contact with a mutha fucka like me because I will tell you about yourself and make sure you get a good whiff of that shit before you get sent away from me or I leave, whichever one is the case. Men, you think you an exception because you hanging and swinging? Lol if you did you done lost ya damn mind. No chick wants to touch your dirty penis sir. Please wash that. I mean really? Sweaty balls are not the move. Yeah I went there. That's just as nasty. You know what you have been doing before you decided you wanted to fuck. Please clean ya body beforehand and make sure she is clean too. No matter who you trying to buss down or make love to or have sex with or play with or whatever you trying to do, please practice the good hygienic ways of everyday life and make sure your body is clean. I mean dammit man! I'll tell you right now. I don't put up with that shit or excuses for it. You will leave my presence or I will exit stage right if this shit happens with no problems. I don't give a fuck. We are adults. Wash ya ass before you try to get some ass. Its that simple. Oh and please don't be the nasty ass person that want to do special shit and haven't done this. What I mean? Don't be pulling out the condiments and fruit for somebody to eat off you and your body covered in any dirt whatsoever. That's a stomachache and an ass kicking waiting to happen. You gotta be a disgusting mutha fucka to do that shit. Even if you don't give a fuck, have some resepct for your body and yourself. About to get some or even think it is a possibility? Hop in the shower and get to it. Don't think I dont know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

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