Hitting the Sheets? Hit the Showers!

Warning: this post is vulgar as shit. I have changed some of my language to make it a little cleaner, but it is still kinda raunchy. You have been warned. Enjoy reading.
Something that me and my friends have laughed about but really have dodged and have been good at avoiding is the smelly body experience. Let's paint the picture. You talking to that fine chick you have been trying to get at for like months now. She talk that good shit in ya ear, telling you what she want to do and how she want to hook up. You set it up and whatnot, glad that she done finally gave in. She comes over. Y'all start touching and feeling each other literally, and clothes start to hit the floor. And here comes the smell. Yeah there is a smell that has made its way to your nose, and you are now in the process of trying to figure out what it is. Guess what? It's her. Yeah that fine chick you done finally got naked smells like hot fish. You can't believe this so you do the smell test. Yeah you put your fingers down there and bring them to your face. Inches from your nose, the smell is more evident than before. Yeah you're disgusted. I'm disgusted just painting that picture for you. Stank vajaja is a no-no, people. I mean really? You know you about to buss it open, you need to take care of that. Wipe it out, clean it, make sure it is smelling good and ready for action. Please do not open your legs and believe it is okay to fuck when you just came from a run or workout. Hell if you been running around all day and he just got to have it, take a second, wipe it out, and do a smell check on yourself. Yes I said it. No man or woman should be on the receiving end of bad smelling vajaja. As my best friend has said, "if I can smell it I know you can smell it." Don't be acting like you don't know you have a smell to you. That is not something to be oblivious to. Oh and don't come in contact with a mutha fucka like me because I will tell you about yourself and make sure you get a good whiff of that shit before you get sent away from me or I leave, whichever one is the case. Men, you think you an exception because you hanging and swinging? Lol if you did you done lost ya damn mind. No chick wants to touch your dirty penis sir. Please wash that. I mean really? Sweaty balls are not the move. Yeah I went there. That's just as nasty. You know what you have been doing before you decided you wanted to fuck. Please clean ya body beforehand and make sure she is clean too. No matter who you trying to buss down or make love to or have sex with or play with or whatever you trying to do, please practice the good hygienic ways of everyday life and make sure your body is clean. I mean dammit man! I'll tell you right now. I don't put up with that shit or excuses for it. You will leave my presence or I will exit stage right if this shit happens with no problems. I don't give a fuck. We are adults. Wash ya ass before you try to get some ass. Its that simple. Oh and please don't be the nasty ass person that want to do special shit and haven't done this. What I mean? Don't be pulling out the condiments and fruit for somebody to eat off you and your body covered in any dirt whatsoever. That's a stomachache and an ass kicking waiting to happen. You gotta be a disgusting mutha fucka to do that shit. Even if you don't give a fuck, have some resepct for your body and yourself. About to get some or even think it is a possibility? Hop in the shower and get to it. Don't think I dont know what I am talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Vajaja Won't Keep Him

Okay here's the deal: I am about to be 25 in a month and ever since I was in high school, I have been hearing females claim that their "stuff" is so good that it can change any man and put him in his place. They say shit like "with this pussy he will never stray" and stupid shit like that. They really believe that the vagina they giving away is keeping money coming out his pocket, him from cheating, and his eyes to himself. "My man will never do that. The pussy is too good to him." Newsflash: he can and he has. To the females of the world that think their pussy is so great no man that touches it would want another, I like your confidence but please bring yo ass down from that high ass horse yo ass is sitting on. There is not a woman on earth that can keep their significant other from cheating or leaving if they want to. Guess what? Shit happens. Now I'm not saying these aren't stupid for doing the shit. I give no defence for those that are wrong, and this is way I am putting you ridiculous females out there that believe that dumb shit on blast. Yeah yo vajaja could be great, but if the actual sex act ain't on point, he or she will find someone that can get the job done. Ain't nothing wrong with saying that its good. I say it from time to time because that is what I have been told, but I know it won't keep a person there. If he or she wants to leave, the door is open and there is nothing that is going to keep he or she from walking through it but personal choice. They not sticking wit yo conceded ass because ya pussy is just the bomb and shit. They are doing it because they see something in you that is worth more than that to them. I can't deal with that kind of attitude. What created it? The right man or woman told them their vajaja is just that good, and it stuck ever since. Guess what darling? There is one out there that is better and belongs to a more quality woman. Betting yo life in it? Plan ya funeral in the process. Some men out there ain't any better. "Man shit all I gotta do is put this dick down and she is done. No man stands a chance against Mandango." Really? Personal experience: that shit ain't true. I have turned and shut down what I consider some of the best because of other reasons. Oh you think cuz you put it down I'm going to be stalking you and wanting a relationship and all in yo face and all on you like white in rice? That I won't step out on you or even look at another? Lmao let me stop laughing real quick. You out yo fucken mind! I explore all other factors about you before I even make silly decisions like that. How good you are in bed means nothing to me if you disrespect me or treat me like I'm nothing. Being another notch on your belt ain't an honor for me boo boo, so don't you ever think that I am going to praise it by stroking yo ego just so I can be left with a wide open nose and hurt feelings. It ain't that serious sweetie. I've had better. Is it true? It might be. Just know there is always somebody better out there, no matter what we talking about. My point: don't think because you giving it up that this person is going to be so caught up in it that he or she going to do what you want when you want and never going to leave ya side. If that is the case, cheating wouldn't go on at such high rates. Don't think its going to work? Having doubts? Keep yo dick in your pants or your legs closed, whichever one applies to you. Everything comes down to personal choice. If that person chooses to do so, then that's it. There is nothing your genitalia is going to do about that. Better pick up some other skills and a better personality becauase the competition out there shows no mercy. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...