Clubbing 101

Even though I have reached my mid 20s, I haven't been to a club in a while. I don't really go to clubs and if I do I have to be drunk because that is the only way I will get through it without losing my mind. The atmosphere is ridiculous at timed and I really don't know how to deal with it without a little alcohol in the system. There are different things that I would like to address when regarding the club. For those of you that I offend, please correct yourself. I will go in order of leaving the house to leaving the club. First thing is who you go with. Do not take the people that are just going to sit on the wall the majority of the night and do nothing. Clubs are meant for dancing, not observation. Hit the floor or hit the door. Next is travel and parking. Please make sure you are traveling with responsible people. What I mean is everybody can't be fucked up because somebody gotta drive. Of drinking or smoking is that important to everyone, please take a cab. Please do not complain if the club parking lot is full on a Saturday night. that is to be expected. Either you are going to find a space, go yo another club, or figure out something else to do. Next on the list: the line. Guess what VIP is? The cut line. Nothing more, nothing less. Unless there is a specified cut line, you will be paying $20-50 in order to get in before everybody in that long ass line standing there waiting two hours just to sweat and whatnot. Don't look for any special privileges or discounts or anything of that nature. And then you are inside. Its going to be hot. Unless you are in a warehouse or it is not that crowded, it's going to be hot. The only place you will get air is outside. Men, no means no. If she don't want to dance wit you or turns down your advances, walk away and find another. Ladies, please don't go to the club with the intention of finding yo husband or trying to get men to buy you drinks and blow them off. That is some cheap, desperate looking ass shit. If he offer, that is fine, but don't be seeking the shit. Eww. Oh and don't be surprised if that mutha fucka follow you around for about two hours when he do. Some men are that crazy honey. Welcome to the club world. Now its time to go. Omg please don't not try and bed somebody right after y'all leave the club. At least let them take a shower first. This person has been grinding their private parts all over people and you want all that all over you? You a nasty mutha fucka. Please leave with the people you came with. It is not okay for you to leave with someone you don't know. Ummm can you say set up?  This is a little club etiquette for those that don't know or have it. Pleas use this information wisely. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...