The Assumption of One and Only

You're single. You meet this other single person. Y'all chit for a little while and then you decide that you are okay with this person so y'all exchange numbers. The conversation continues, and y'all discover that y'all are on the same page with what you want. At some point you decide to date. On date number three, you find out you are not the only one he/she is dating. You are pissed. You want to end the dating and still just be cool with the person. He/she didn't lie to you and tell you that you were the only one. You just assumed it. Guess what? You just created a common personal problem. Here comes the explanation. You didn't ask if this person was dating other people. You didn't inquire if this person was being monogamous with this special request in change to y'all relationship with one another. You just figured that this person have you and only you in his/her life like that. Why would you do that crazy shit? First of all, you should have asked this person do he/she intend to date other people. Second of all, you have to remember that this person is single and has no obligation to you. Thirdly, you can't expect this person to give up information you don't ask for. Finally, don't accuse him/her of lying of they haven't said shit. It ain't the same. There is an argument about that last one, but I'm staying on topic so fuck all that. Anywho, single people have the right to date and fuck and befriend and romance and do whatever with whoever they want. You can't expect this person to just be all into you if its not discussed like that. The understanding has to be put there: a single person can do what they want to do. Don't make yourself the limitation. If y'all are just fucking, don't assume that you are the only one. Oh hell nah. Don't ever assume you aren't the only one either when it comes to getting down with the get down. There are some that date and fuck just one person at a time, but don't just assume that person is you or the person you are interested in is that type of person. Don't wanna date someone dating others? Then don't. Don't wanna fuck a person fucking others? Then don't. It is as simple as that. Don't get mad if you find yourself to be in somebody's circle and didn't inquire on how they live life and get down. No matter how you chose to fuck with this person, you did it without research. Fumble. By the way, they don't have to tell you shit and they damn sho don't have to tell you the truth. Please remember these two statements when you decide to ask them about everything. Communication is key, and without some sort of communication, you will fall flat on your ass as you decide to put yourself in this kind of situation. All you had to do was ask. If he/she don't wanna answer your question, don't just assume he/she is being secretive and don't wanna say nothing. Maybe he or she thinks it is none of your fucken business and for you to stay in your lane. If this is voiced to you in this way, respect their honesty and know you have just been thrown a red flag. Oh and to all you mutha fuckas that think because you fucking or dating you in a relationship with this person, you are horribly mistaken and need to re-evaluate some shit cuz its something that only you know and are convinced of but this person is not. Under no circumstances should a person assume he or she is in a relationship with another person without this being discussed and agreed upon. I had a friend tell me about some bitch that assumed they was in a relationship because they would fuck. The only reason she got to spend the night was because she rides the bus and she had to wait to the morning to get home. Chick didn't know that we don't love these hoes. You can't just put yourself in that kind of situation with somebody and think they are just gonna agree to it. "Oh yeah baby since you are my woman..." "oh I'm your woman huh? Yeah I guess that's cool..." Not even in movies bruh. That fantasy is straight bullshit in a pretend world. Fuck were you thinking? When involving your feelings and heart, you can't assume anything. You gotta discuss, clarify, and agree. Its that simple. Otherwise you gonna be singing that men/women ain't shit song and dance yo ass right into the world of you crazy mutha fucka land where everybody tells you how you done lost your damn mind for thinking that it was just you and that there was more than what it was. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Well somebody does. Hey man...I'm just saying...

Holding Out...For What?

So...I had a random thought on my way home this morning about a conversation I was having a few days ago with this dude about dating. One part of this conversation is the talk of sex on the first date. Am I wit it? Am I against it? What do I do when it comes down to giving it up? Well its like this: I believe and support sex on the first date. No that doesn't mean I give it up on every first date that I go on, but I ain't against doing it either. To be honest, I know when I see a person if I wanna fuck them or not. I just determine how long I am gonna wait to go for it when/if we have a conversation with each other. If that's all I want from a dude, then all this dating and going out and spending money on me shit ain't necessary. Give me what I want and be on your way. Now, let's get the subject of this post: women that hold out on giving up the vajaja. Yes I support you making your own decisions but there is only two reasons I will try and talk you out of not waiting to give it up: because I think the reason you are holding out is purely stupid and because I actually care about why you are doing it. What's a stupid reason you ask? "He/she gonna think I'm a ho." Hunny this ain't 1999. If he/she thinks you a ho for giving up within two weeks of meeting, he/she thought you were a ho when you met. Lets be real. In this person's eyes you were always the freak and at some point in the near future this person figured they could get you to buss it open. Just saying. If all it took was a trip to Red Lobster and some cheesy biscuits (those biscuits are the shit by the way) then so be it, but don't think he/she just had the magically thought that you are easy because you fucked the first date. Most real men or women just think you know what you want in life. Hell if you are the aggressor in the situation some will actually want you more. Some women have this thought that you are supposed to make a man or woman wait til after a certain time period to have sex with a person. What if after that 60 day period this person no longer has interest in touching you or you in general? I want you to know off top that he or she will fuck other people until you decide to give it up. Oh you mad? Sounds like you need to buss it open. We all adults here. If you that caught up in your feelings about fucking maybe that is something for you to definitely work on. Who knows? Fucking this person could make them want you even more. If they quit fucking wit you like that after you give it up then you now know they on some high school shit and ain't worth your time anyway. The ones that usually end up in this situation? The ones that hold out the longest...at least that's what I heard. I don't know. If I want it I am going for it. Fuck it. I'm grown and don't have a single fuck to give about how a mutha fucka feel about me after the fact. Oh you wanna disappear? Well do it in a quickness so I can go on with life. Want to act funny? Know that I am laughing at yo ass from afar and laugh even harder when you come back wanting something from me. Personal opinion: holding out is a little unnecessary if it ain't for the right reasons. Taking things slowly? That's fine. Really want something serious out of it? Understandable. Know this: there are successful marriages that have started from two people that fucked each other when they first met. Fuck the first date. That came later. There have also been failed relationships from people that have decided to wait. All of it is a toss up. My suggestion: give it up when you ready, no matter how long or short of a period of time it is. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...