DNA Testing...Are You the Daddy?

After a 8 month absence from the world, I am back. Yes ladies and gentlemen I have returned. It is time that I have come back and said something to the world. One of today's topics: paternity tests. The reason why I am bringing this up is because this is a subject that can be seen all over the place and is brought up to a lot of couples that have babies without being married. Why? Accusations of the chick sleeping around. All of a sudden, she a ho. Okay dead beat ass nigga, that is not always the case. Maybe you just a ridiculous ass nigga that don't want to feed another mouth but yours. Maybe you are insecure and think that she don't want just you. Hey dude, chill out with that shit. If you two are in a relationship, I really have to wonder if you trusted her in the first place. Two people make a baby. Hey guess what? You are that other person! Get ready to come out the pocket and quit this bullshit. Also, Maury is not a good place to take care of this issue. Don't embarrass yourselves. Hey ladies, you are not off the hook. Yall just as bad running around here fucking more than one dude and not saying nothing. Look if there is even a slight possibilty that you know he might not be the father, please save the drama and extra bullshit and just tell him. Stop trying to save face because you blew that shit when you decided to buss it open. It's easier to just let him get the test done when the baby or babies are born than wait until little sweet cheeks is two years old and the fact that he/she shows no resemblence to this guy you claim to be the daddy starts to come into play. Oh and do not deliberately allow another man to take care of child you know is not his without it being his own personal choice. That has to be some shit to get yo block knocked off. Dirty as a fuck I tell you. Don't wanna end up in this situation? It's called birth control. Condoms come in different sizes and made in other types of material other than latex. If you are a cheating mutha fucka, and this applies to both, you need to be way more careful than that. Why not wear a condom with the side chick? You don't know who that bitch is fucking. Why not tell the side nigga to wrap it up? Trust me if ya man find out about him he might be a dead dude. Preventative measures to take so that you don't look like an asshole. Don't act like you didn't know this person ain't shit either. All the signs are there early. You just have to peep them out. Yes that applies to both sides. No I don't have kids of my own so I have not been through the "is it mine?" argument, but I figured this is simple advice that will keep yall from wanting to ring each others' necks later. The innocent bystander in this situation is always the child, and at the end of the day you both are at fault. Stop throwing fingers as if only one of you is to blame. Honesty needs to play a part to prevent the waiting game for a piece of paper saying that the child is yours or not. Fellas, if you won't make her a wife, don't make her a mother. If she has a child already, you already have been given noticed that she is fertile. Ladies same for you. If you can't see yourself with this man for the rest of your life, tell that nigga to wrap it up. No need to be stuck with his ass for the rest of your life because you wanted to get a nut off. Not worth it. Oh and if I hear one more mutha fucka tell me they was drunk...look yall know yall need to chill out with that shit. All children are blessings, but please try not to put yourself or anybody else in this situation. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Most people don't. Hey man...I'm just saying.

Bossy

Okay so this is gonna touch some nerves of some people that I know and might just get my ass kicked. I just want to point out that I am entitled to my personal opinion and I am giving it. Don't like it? Let me know. I'll take it into consideration. Okay on to what I wanted to talk about...bosses. When I hear the word boss, I think of a mutha fucka that hires and fires people. Somebody that makes the schedule and signs off on checks for other mutha fuckas. Somebody that works hard for what they earn, no matter how they earn it but have other people earning or just simply working up under them. Bosses. If you don't have a fucken job, stop calling yourself a boss. If you have no source of income whatsoever, don't even think about calling yourself a boss. If you call the shots of nothing, you not a boss period. Quit screaming you a fucken boss like you in a damn music video and about to become that next big thing. It ain't fucking happening dude. This goes for everybody. I am so sick of females talking about they are boss bitches but can't don't work or have a side hustle or nothing. And no broke ass hoe solely living off somebody else don't make you a boss. Get yo supposed to be grown ass up and make your own fucken money. That's something bosses do. Fellas, popping bottles and chasing these hoes with your rent and bill money don't make you a boss. It makes you stupid. Get yo mind right. Want to live like Rick Ross still having your keys taken by ya mama cuz you didn't take the trash out. What boss you know lives like that? There are 15 year olds that run their own side hustles. They can say they're bosses more than yo broke ass. Sound like you need to make some moves shawty. I mean do you really think you a boss for real? Oh my bad. You living through a song. Here, let me help you out: in reality, you a regular mutha fucka that sits on yo ass and waits for the next mutha fucka to make something happen for you. Don't work. Don't grind. Dont even offer a service or product to sell. Just lazy. Sorry to inform you that your "boss" life don't exist, but I guess that person that is fucking you is giving you some glimmer of hope that it is. End that shit please. I know I might be going off the deep end with this one, but there are so called adults that have this kind of mentality. It fucks with my sanity. Ugh what the fuck man? Until you are making boss moves or have some sort of boss qualities, don't ever think you deserve to call yourself a boss. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Haha okay. Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Assumption of One and Only

You're single. You meet this other single person. Y'all chit for a little while and then you decide that you are okay with this person so y'all exchange numbers. The conversation continues, and y'all discover that y'all are on the same page with what you want. At some point you decide to date. On date number three, you find out you are not the only one he/she is dating. You are pissed. You want to end the dating and still just be cool with the person. He/she didn't lie to you and tell you that you were the only one. You just assumed it. Guess what? You just created a common personal problem. Here comes the explanation. You didn't ask if this person was dating other people. You didn't inquire if this person was being monogamous with this special request in change to y'all relationship with one another. You just figured that this person have you and only you in his/her life like that. Why would you do that crazy shit? First of all, you should have asked this person do he/she intend to date other people. Second of all, you have to remember that this person is single and has no obligation to you. Thirdly, you can't expect this person to give up information you don't ask for. Finally, don't accuse him/her of lying of they haven't said shit. It ain't the same. There is an argument about that last one, but I'm staying on topic so fuck all that. Anywho, single people have the right to date and fuck and befriend and romance and do whatever with whoever they want. You can't expect this person to just be all into you if its not discussed like that. The understanding has to be put there: a single person can do what they want to do. Don't make yourself the limitation. If y'all are just fucking, don't assume that you are the only one. Oh hell nah. Don't ever assume you aren't the only one either when it comes to getting down with the get down. There are some that date and fuck just one person at a time, but don't just assume that person is you or the person you are interested in is that type of person. Don't wanna date someone dating others? Then don't. Don't wanna fuck a person fucking others? Then don't. It is as simple as that. Don't get mad if you find yourself to be in somebody's circle and didn't inquire on how they live life and get down. No matter how you chose to fuck with this person, you did it without research. Fumble. By the way, they don't have to tell you shit and they damn sho don't have to tell you the truth. Please remember these two statements when you decide to ask them about everything. Communication is key, and without some sort of communication, you will fall flat on your ass as you decide to put yourself in this kind of situation. All you had to do was ask. If he/she don't wanna answer your question, don't just assume he/she is being secretive and don't wanna say nothing. Maybe he or she thinks it is none of your fucken business and for you to stay in your lane. If this is voiced to you in this way, respect their honesty and know you have just been thrown a red flag. Oh and to all you mutha fuckas that think because you fucking or dating you in a relationship with this person, you are horribly mistaken and need to re-evaluate some shit cuz its something that only you know and are convinced of but this person is not. Under no circumstances should a person assume he or she is in a relationship with another person without this being discussed and agreed upon. I had a friend tell me about some bitch that assumed they was in a relationship because they would fuck. The only reason she got to spend the night was because she rides the bus and she had to wait to the morning to get home. Chick didn't know that we don't love these hoes. You can't just put yourself in that kind of situation with somebody and think they are just gonna agree to it. "Oh yeah baby since you are my woman..." "oh I'm your woman huh? Yeah I guess that's cool..." Not even in movies bruh. That fantasy is straight bullshit in a pretend world. Fuck were you thinking? When involving your feelings and heart, you can't assume anything. You gotta discuss, clarify, and agree. Its that simple. Otherwise you gonna be singing that men/women ain't shit song and dance yo ass right into the world of you crazy mutha fucka land where everybody tells you how you done lost your damn mind for thinking that it was just you and that there was more than what it was. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Well somebody does. Hey man...I'm just saying...

One Sided Investments

Okay, after a six month hiatus, I am back people. Yes ladies and gentlemen, niggas and niggettes, I am back. The crowd goes wild...yaaay! Okay seriously, I wanted to say something about a subject people talk about and, of course, I had a conversation about earlier. Let's start with the story that got me on this topic in the first place. So my best friend and I was talking about chicks and whatnot. He proceeds to start talking about this chick he done hit right? Well he says to me, "I think she trying to be my girl." My next actions: Smacks forehead. Looks up. Says "seriously?" Yeah I did that. Why do I have a problem with this? She is about to get her feelings hurt, and the only person to blame is herself. Do I give a fuck? No. I am fresh out of those and don't plan to get anymore ever. Here's the thing. All that "oh we should be together shit" when y'all just fucking...yeah don't do that. The only time I see how feelings can get caught up in it is when you are getting special treatment, and no that don't include you getting picked up instead of riding the bus. Just because a mutha fucka decided you didn't have to walk that five minutes from the bus stop to his house don't mean he care about you any more than he did before. When the only thing that has been established between you two is that y'all gonna fuck, where does all this feelings shit come from? Men, you think only women do it? Hahahaha WRONG! Y'all do that shit too. "I'm saying though Keshia why won't you be my girl?" Fool I don't like you like that! Please! Loving these hoes? Yeah I ain't about that life. You gotta be doing some extra special shit for me to get that deep in it. If you gonna start investing your feelings into shit, at least make sure that that y'all are having more conversations other than when the next time you coming through to give up some ass. Yeah that's all you are there for and that is the only relationship you have decided to have with this person, so please dont do all that extra shit when you get shut down. I ain't saying it gonna work. I'm saying that 99% of the time you gonna be the only mutha fucka to feel that way if the only interaction y'all have is the five minutes it takes for you to set up a fuck session and the actual fuck session itself. If y'all have been getting it on for about six months and you don't know this mutha fucka full name and birthday, you will never be his/her significant other. Nah that ain't happening. I'll do you one better. If he/she does not ever mentions anything about y'all hanging out or chilling with each other outside of fucking, not even to go as far as to ask you what you doing with the rest of your day, you can definitely forget about ever getting this person to move things in a different direction. Being a friend is one thing, but when there is a strict put your clothes on and leave policy between y'all after y'all done doing the do, why would you want to be with this person? This one dude thought I had feelings for him after a couple of years of this song and dance. Lmao boy he is too stupid. If it has already been established that all y'all gonna do is have sexual intercourse with each other, leave ya feelings alone. They don't deserve to get hurt because you had some ridiculous notion that you could change this person and how they feel about this situation. Nah. Never that. When its just sex involved, that's all it needs to be. Don't think I know what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't. Hey man...I'm just saying...

And I'm Still a Wrestling Fan

A fact about the author of these posts: I have been a fan of wrestling since the age of 9. Yes I am talking about WWF/E, TNA, Ring of Honor, NWA, etc. I also love traditional style wrestling like they do in the Olympics. Having been a fan for so long, I get questions about a lot of things concerning the sport. Where is such and such? Why has it changed so much? Does such and such still come on? I answer them and keep it moving. One question I hate: "you know its fake right?" Let me explain something to you: I am fully aware and have the common knowledge that what I am watching is not real. I am aware that what I am watching is like a very violent soap opera. Please don't ask me or tell me this shit like I just started watching Raw and Impact yesterday. Seriously I can't stand that shit. Oh and only the storylines and some of the moves are fake. Those injuries and some of the moves in the ring are definitely real. Getting medical clearance to wrestle? Real. The problems backstage and off camera? Real. Want a good look into wrestling from a real point of view? Watch Beyond the Mat and Card Subject to Change. Read a book by a wrestler. Watch a documentary about a wrestler. Know your shit before you step to me with that "wrestling is fake" bullshit. I really do get sick of hearing. I ain't stupid and I ain't gonna stop watching. What is really the fucken point of you telling me that? I mean shut the fuck up. Damn! Oh and if wrestling is so fake, why the fuck do you know more about the last show than I do? Yeah. Hush. What I am saying is this: this is one of the most interesting things there is to me. Don't diss my shit because that "reality" show you was watching last week ain't that real itself. If you want to know if I know about something that I have been watching for 16 years of my life, the answer is yes. Stop asking me that shit. Please. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

The Use of Names

One of the things that are overlooked by some people is the use of names. What do I mean? When someone introduce his or her self, he or she uses the name in which he or she wants to be called. This is the tag in which he or she gives oneself for others, whether it is a nickname or the real first name or a fake name that is used for safety reasons. At work, the use of names depends on the type of work being done. For example, everyone at my job calls each other by our last names. Just how it is. When I was working for the university I went to, everybody called each other by our first names. Teachers asked what name we preferred. So on, so forth. Why am I writing this? Because some people feel they have the right to call people whatever they want. Some people read my name off my nametag and call me by my first name. I'm fine with that until you start cracking jokes and making my name what you want it. Mutha fucka who are you? I don't know you like that. Don't call me nothing I don't approve you to call me by, and yes that includes my first name. For those that read this and don't know what my name is, it's Keshia. No this is not a joke. This is my given and legal first name and you can only imagine the shit I hear when some people learn that shit. I will put it out there: don't make up some bullshit nickname I don't like or call me what you want. If I give you a name to call me by, use it. The name thing varies upon how close we are and what out relationship is to each other. Also don't get mad at me when I call you by the name that you have given me to call you by. If you introduce yourself to be as Douchebag McGhee, that's what the fuck I am gonna call you. Give me the same common courtsey. If you want to call me something different I will let you know if I approve or not. If I don't like it, please note that I will be thoroughly pissed every time you call me that shit. If you introduce yourself to me by using your first name, don't get mad when I don't call you by your nickname. If your nickname is fucked up, don't get mad when I call you by something I feel comfortable saying. C'mon now. change that shit! Oh and to those that make up these stupid ass names on social media, please stop that shit. No one likes it and it makes you look stupid. An example? Ron heaboutdatlife Smith. Really dude? Kill yourself. Just know that one name I don't go by: KeeKee. Don't have nothing against anybody that do, but I personally don't like being called that shit. Don't fucken do it! If I am at work, you are to call me by my last name unless I say that you can call me by my first. This construction had the audacity to call me by my first name. Dude, you don't fucken know me like that. We ain't cool. Don't do that. I have issues with this because a name is the way you are identified and I don't want my shit to be mistaken or misused. You have been warned. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...

One Drink Dont Make Me Yours

Being at Club 426 (I stay in the A) last night reintroduced me to a world that I have become unfamiliar with. The dancing? I danced all night. The music? Awesome. The people? Live. The men? Thirsty. The women? Hoochie but just as live. It was a wonderful night. I had this one dude that was trying to take me home with him. Nah dog. I'm good. Don't even know you like that and I leave with who I came with. He walked off. I kept dancing and enjoying myself. Now the next dude is somewhat the inspiration for this blog post. Yes the gesture of a man buying a woman a drink is nice, but fellas, what I want you to understand is that if you offer to buy a woman a drink, it does not mean she is obligated to give you anything. Another dance, a date, some conversation, nothing. She ain't gotta do shit for you. If she is a random person who you never met in life, the chances of you getting anything out of her after buying that $8 cranberry juice and vodka or that $3 bottle of water is slim to none. Just letting you know that spending money don't entitle you to shit. I ain't yo girl. I'm not yo wife. I ain't the mother of yo kids. I don't sign yo checks or make your money. What the fuck makes you think that buying me a drink will get me to buss it open? Whoa dude. Let me stop laughing at yo ridiculous ass for thinking that I am that simple. Lost yo fucken mind along with yo common sense. To the females that is that simple to buss down, thank you for creating this mindset for bitch niggas and stalkers to love by. No I am not talking to the ones that have accepted a drink. Ain't nothing wrong with saying yes to free shit. I am talking to the ones that will go home with and fuck this dude or female that has brought them this drink because of that reason. These the same bitches that are fucking for subway sandwiches and new outfits. What the fuck is wrong wit you? This don't apply if you know this person. It does when this person is random. Its a drink. Most of the time, the shit you buy is the same drink you drink at home. Oh and please don't think offering me a drink is gonna impress me. Sorry sir or ma'am that wont cut it. Take note: if you buy me a drink 99.99% of the time I will turn it down. If I don't just know even if I know you I leave with who I came with so don't get your hopes up. This is just some more club etiquette to think about before you get your feelings hurt over a ridiculous expectation. Don't think I know what I'm talking about? Hey man...I'm just saying...